Women and Orthodox Synagogues: An Opinion Piece by Pam Ehrenkranz
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I keep asking Orthodox rabbis, “How would shabbat morning services be any different if every woman in the community stayed home?” Interestingly, the responses are uniform: “We would feel bad, but in practice, nothing would change.”
Being told that your presence is irrelevant will ultimately have an effect. It did on me. I began to wonder: If I am not necessary, and I can pray alone, and many rabbis believe that I have no obligation to be at communal prayer, why go? Why get dressed, walk in the freezing cold or the unbearable heat, to a place, where, for all intents and purposes, my presence is superfluous?
To be clear, I am observant and respectful of traditional approaches to halacha. I am also respectful of innovative, as well as simple, ways to be more inclusive, to make women relevant, without crossing the boundaries of halacha. Some of those ways are already being implemented in minyanim around the world and the Modern Orthodox world needs to broaden the discussion about women and the synagogue.
Granted, many women are quite happy to be shul spectators; so are many men. Yet everything an organization does speaks about its values, right down to how the phone is answered. As of now we are not only signaling that women do not count in a minyan, but that they don’t count at all. So here are some thoughts about what we might institute as a way of saying that women are very much counted in the community; that their scholarship is admired; that their presence is critical. None of these concepts are new in the marketplace of ideas; they have been talked and written about in so many places that I cannot credit them to anyone in particular, only to a growing climate of opinion:
1. Don’t start davening until 10 men and at least 2 women are present. At partnership minyanim, it is often the case that the group waits for both ten men and ten women. For our purposes, it is not the critical mass that is at issue—it is the message that without women, we do not constitute a Kehillah.
2. Invite women scholars to deliver divrei torah from the bimah and to be scholars in residence. Thanks to places like Drisha, Nishmat, Matan, Pardes, and Yeshiva University’s graduate programs for women, we have a dynamic group of women who are inspirational, knowledgeable and worthy of our attention.
3. Have a woman read the prayer for the Agunah. The agunah issue needs to be on the minds of the congregation and this is an appropriate way to accomplish that.
4. Offer equal education for boys and girls. In places where the boys are learning separately, the girls’ curriculum should be the same. There is no danger in teaching girls to leyn. Hopefully, they will be able to join women’s tefillah groups if they want to, or help their children in the future, when they learn for their own bar and bat mitzvahs. To borrow a slogan, educated Jews are our best customers. They come back, they engage, they lead and they are the future.
5. Eliminate the language of "women's" and "men's" learning. It's adult learning and like wine and a good meal, it is better when it's shared.
6. Encourage women to fill leadership roles in the synagogue. As women are no longer illiterate, they can no longer be lumped into the category of slave or minor when it comes to education, status and ability. It is no longer reasonable to bar them from the boardroom. It would seem to reason that if a woman can make decisions as president of an Ivy League university, a judge, or a surgeon, she can handle the synagogue board meetings.
7. Invite new moms to recite Birkat Hagomel in their own voices.
8. Welcome and promote women’s tefillah groups. Many have been meeting for over thirty years, some inside and some outside of synagogues. It not only promotes Jewish literacy, it helps find a way to include young girls and women actively in the service.
So to the rabbis who have the power to make changes in their shuls, I say, it is not enough to just feel bad about women staying home from shul. Take a step and welcome women in. What better week to contemplate this than parashat Pinchas, where women raised their voices, asked to be included, and G-d himself answered, “yes.”
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Years ago, Rabbi Sirat, the chief rabbi of France at the time, spoke at our shul in Stamford. During his call forJudaism to apologize to its women, he suggested that we eliminate the saying of the "shelo asani Isha" in synagogues. I asked him afterwards why he didn't just advocate for saying it silently since that would meet with less resistance. He asked me, "would that be enough for you?" I said yes. He responded, "well, it's not enough for me." We might want to consider his view as well.
Thanks, Pam, for your thoughtful and thought provoking post. It reminds me of a conversation I had with the new rabbi of our then-shul, after he proposed erecting a new mehitsa that would remove women completely from the men's view. I asked him if he had ever sat--or imagined what it would be like to sit--on "the other side." He admitted that he hadn't. I explained that as a new mother (as at the time I was) who brought her sons to synagogue the moment services began, I occasionally had the need to signal to my husband to take one of the children. After chiding me for my "frivolous" interactions with my husband during shul, he said, "you know, MY wife stays home with our children." I realized at that moment that we lived in two different worlds, with completely different ideas about the roles of men and women (and children) in the synagogue.
Shortly after this conversation, we founded a new synagogue, Netivot Shalom--prompted by this philosophical and ethical disconnect--where I'm happy to say, we follow most of your guidelines above. We begin morning services AFTER the point of birkot haShahar, so as to allow people to say (or not say, or replace) the blessings they feel are appropriate in their own time. Women regularly speak, give shiurim, and are brought in a scholars in residence. We house the women's tefilla group for the entire Baltimore community, and offer as many opportunities for women to participate in the tefillot as possible.
The pain point, however, is that we face many uninformed accusations of allowing "non-Orthodox practices," such as women saying kiddush or reading megilla--and this has hurt our membership. Although we will not compromise our ethical commitment to equality to the extent that halakha allows, other synagogues may not want to take the same risks. How do you propose we get past what is essentially an emotional resistance to change?
Ronda,
It seems to me you have a right to be pained. In a halachic system, one cannot simply accuse another of bad practice; one must have a great deal of knowledge, and most of all, supporting sources, including conflicting opinions and minority opinions. As for women saying kiddush, Rachel Berkovitz has written a brilliant piece on this which you can dowload from the JOFA website at
http://www.jofa.org/about.php/publications/tashmahalakh/womensobliga
In all cases, your best defense is making sure the community members are well educated, that they know the sources and that they can defend the practice with rabbinic material. I am quite surprised about the women's megillah reading since that seems to be the most accepted women's tefillah experience, and why i did not even bother including it in the article. I am not sure if Rabbi Sperber has written on this, but many people have and several orthodox synagogues, including ours in Stamford, Connecticut, have been doing this for years. I believe women have been reading megillah in our women's tefillah group for 30 years!
I believe you have taken a strong and courageous step by forming a synagogue that seems to be founded, among other things, on the concepts of both Kevod Hatzibur and Kevod Habriyot. Change does not come easy. Do not be discouraged. Let people know on what halachic grounds you do what you do. But if you walk away, we will all be diminished. I think others will take risks when they see that you have. That Shira Chadasha has. That Hakhel has. That Darchei Noam has. That small groups of educated and persistent Jews are standing up all over saying that they want this. Remember that a little over a hundred years ago, no one taught women Torah. A little over 35 years ago, almost no one taught women Talmud. We are moving in the right direction. Emotional resistance to change will ultimately give way to scholarly understanding.
Pam
Ms. Ehrenkranz brings up many relevant and elemental arguments. She clearly has been thinking about this issue for a long time. Yet with all of the solutions she shares, the question begs, why are there so many roadblocks in getting these ideas instituted.
For one, the Orthodox community continues to do things in the "Old Boys" network sort of way. Sadly, there does not appear to be a way for women to make inroads in this environment. Yet Ms. Ehrenkranz points out, she is not looking to break Halachic law. She is looking at how to expand its reach. Allowing women into this network would wisely create an environment of inclusiveness rather than exclusion.
What this group of Shul goers continually fails to realize is, there exists a population of women with a skill set that is grossly underutilized. The potential of these women is boundless. In a world where a woman can be a head of state with the conviction and strengthth of any man, then why can't she participate in a constructive way at her local synagogue?
This time worn question deserves a more upfront and honest dialogue.
Thank you for your thoughtful response. Just one clarification on women reading megilah in our synagogue: This is not a "women's tefilla" reading, it is a co-ed reading (i.e., either men or women can read for the entire community). As a community, we studied the halakhot in a series of shiurim that presented both positives and negatives for such a practice--and ultimately decided to have two simultaneous readings; one "traditional" and one read by men and women for men and women (with a mehitza...).