National Scholar Updates

It is hard to be a parent in today’s modern world. And it is harder to be a Jewish parent.

It is hard to be a parent because in today’s media-frenzied world it is almost impossible to keep up with the technology around which our children’s lives are centered. We know that our children are consuming all types of images and information from all types of media sources, and that much of the content is of harmful moral value. Yet it is extremely difficult for most adults to successfully supervise the myriad media channels of today’s youth and to stay informed of everything their children are digesting.

It is harder to be a Jewish parent because we feel like our religious lifestyle has failed us. To whatever degree that each family practices observance or tradition, we Jews have always had an unspoken contract with our God that assured us that the problems that happen “out there” don’t happen to us—especially not to our kids. Being part of the semi-insular and practicing Jewish community was supposed to come with a guarantee that everything would turn out all right for our families.

And so, when we suddenly realize that the bubble has burst and the wagons have uncircled, and everything out there is suddenly also happening “in here,” Jewish adults are faced with a profound and painful crisis of faith. Our contract with God and Judaism has been breached.

There are parents and religious institutions that see media as the enemy. They lament the influence that television, Internet, movies, music, and video games have on our children. They lament that media has enormous influential power. And they are correct. It does.

But it is not the media channels themselves that are harmful, but rather the content they carry. The same channels and media tools that can intensely influence our children toward poor choices, can also equally influence our children for good. The influence of these media is established. The question is simply how that influence is put to use.

In this article, derived from a new workshop that my organization, In-Reach (www.In-Reach.com) is offering to Jewish communities across the United States, we will explore the relationship of teens and media companies, the impact of this relationship on the Jewish family, and how parents can successfully adapt their parenting techniques in order to reclaim influence in the lives of their teens.

***

Prior to starting In-Reach, which is a not-for-profit new-media Jewish youth organization, I worked for over ten years on the commercial side of the media industry, helping companies along the lines of AOL and MTV use the Internet to engage teenagers and make lots of money off of them. I also worked in the lifestyle branding business, a unique form of branding that centers around helping brands move beyond being simply popular, to actually becoming an emotional and identifying part of a person’s lifestyle and identity. Brands like this include Radio Flyer, Levis, Osh Kosh B’Gosh, and R. J. Reynolds.

It was my job over those years to understand on a profound level how media and kids relate to each other on an identity level, and to capitalize on that relationship in order to manipulate teens into becoming dollar transactions.

The teen market in the United States represents over 112.5 billion dollars in direct spending. That’s how much teens 14 to18 years old spend a year on the things they love to buy. In addition, teens are seen as primary influencers in adult spending on everything from electronics to computers to cameras, and even cars. This is because more and more parents rely on their teens to do the online research for these big-ticket items. This puts the value of the teen market, both direct and indirect, at well over 400 billion dollars.

Beyond the vast economic incentive, teens are very attractive to consumer companies for four highly unique reasons:

1. Teens are loyal spenders. Teens get into a brand and then they stick with it. Once they love a particular brand, very little innovation has to be invested on a product level for several years and the teen will still keep buying. So its “innovate once, sell repeatedly.” A good example is the many varieties of Nike Air sneakers, nearly all of them the same components rewrapped, and rewrapped again.

Adults, in contrast, will often reevaluate products and brand quality each time they return to make a new purchase.

2. Teens are cult spenders. Teens spend as groups. Get one popular teen into your product, and you could see your product go viral to a school, town, or even national market.

3. Teen cash is liquid. Teens don’t carry the burdens and financial responsibilities of adults. If they have cash, by and large it is there to burn.

4. Teens are on the narrow end of the “upside-down funnel.” Adults tend to filter the noise out of any media engagement. Our tastes are set, and we only seek those things that align with or fulfill our tastes. When an adult goes online, typically we go on for very specific information and then we get off. It could be news, sports scores, a Torah lesson, weather, and so forth. Anything else gets ‘x’ed out. This is also how adults see the world of ads, be those ads on buses or in print.  In advertising, we call this “the upside-down funnel.” Adults take in the commercial end as if they are at the wide end of the funnel, looking down the narrow-end to see what meets their narrow field of interest. Everything else gets filtered out.

Teens, on the other hand, have the funnel wide-end out to the world, with the narrow end in their mouths. Adolescents are just beginning to identify and define what will one day become their adult tastes. And just like a one-year-old must put every physical object in his or her mouth no matter what we tell them, teens must taste every adult experience for themselves. So when teens go online, they surf. Teens will spend hours clicking from link to link, thirstily drinking in endless hours of exposure to new ideas of what might make them hip or cool or simply more socially acceptable.

It is specifically due to the upside-down funnel that teens are being more and more frequently targeted for their parents’ big-ticket purchases, not as a second line of advertising, but as the first line! Parents are sending their kids to do the research, and kids are more susceptible to commercial manipulation. So much of today’s ad dollars for adult products are being redirected from parents to their children.

These five combined factors make teens an extremely attractive target-audience: Teens are worth over 100 billion dollars of direct spending, and hundreds of billions more of secondary spending. Teens are receptive. Teens are loyal. Teens spend en-masse. And teen money is there to spend.

The ultimate dream of any marketer is to be able to create a reflex-response by the consumer. That is, I, the seller, tap your knee; and you, the buyer, act by compulsion and buy my product.

With teens, two such hot-buttons exist: Their angst and their libido. Teen sexuality and issues of identity/acceptance are raw and unprotected. Poke either of those nerves and you can get teens to do most anything to cover up their insecurity.

And so it is these two buttons that industry goes after, and today’s commercial companies go after teens with impunity.

But before we can examine how commercial business is targeting our kids, we must first understand why these companies are so free to do so. Has something changed dramatically since the time when we were kids? If so, what is it, and what does it mean to us as parents?

***

Most parents will tell you that the gap between parents and teens is timeless. We reassure ourselves that our teens will turn out okay, because we did, and so did our parents. “The distancing between parents and their children during the adolescent years is a natural rite of passage,” people say, “and we needn’t give heed to the alarmists that say that today’s kids are more at risk than kids in the past.”

But this is not true.

Although the gap between parents and teens is timeless, the consequence of that gap has become much more serious.

There are three key factors that have changed the playing field dramatically, making the growth-stage of distance between parents and teens of greater concern than ever before. Those three factors are:

1. Push Technology
2. A Back Door for Learning and Questions
3. Standards of Content

[H2] Big Change 1: Push Technology

Push technology means that a company no longer has to wait for you to talk to them or voice interest in their product. They can talk to you whether you are interested or not. They can push their way into your world.

The best example of this is spam email. Today, most of us run the most advanced anti-spam filters available to end-users. It is built in to Outlook, Gmail, Yahoo Mail, and nearly all popular email programs. Yet we all get spam offering us opportunities to enlarge various parts of our anatomy, or readily find exotic young women ready to fulfill all of our wildest fantasies.

Like viruses vs. anti-virus software, purveyors of spam are dedicated to finding ways around the software written to block out their emails to us. But unlike viruses, spam is motivated by overt monetary goals.

Most adults pay little heed to spam, deleting these emails with a bored yawn. But teens click on them with thirsty curiosity. These emails tap into the natural curiosity of any adolescent.

Think back twenty years to the then-equivalent of spam. That would be the Val-Pack coupons we used to get to our homes. But now imagine that Val-Packs were specifically addressed to your eleven-year-old child, with products like genital enlargers (along with pictures), and solicitations of nude foreign women available for purchase as mail-order brides. Such mail would not be tolerated for a moment! Legal action would be taken and townships and States would be up in arms!

Not so with Push Technology. Push Technology has placed images, ideas, and illicit values in front of our kids at highly impressionable young ages. It was not this way last generation.

[H2] Big Change 2: Back-Door Learning

When we were kids, if we did not like the values in our home, our school, and our synagogue, where were we going to go? To the library?

Sure, maybe you could get your hands on a dirty magazine, but that was about as radical as you could get until you were 18 years old and on your way to college.

Today, a pre-teen in the sixth, seventh, or eighth grade need only close the door to his or her room and turn on the computer, and he or she can run as far as their imagination and questions take them. And combined with the provocations of Push Technology, that might be pretty far from home.

We are no longer the gatekeepers of our children’s learning.  What we don’t discuss with our children, someone else will.

Once upon a time, when kids brought up certain age-inappropriate topics with parents, parents could lay down the law and tell their children that such subjects would have to keep until the child was older and more mature. Today, when we shut down a topic, we are simply shutting down our role in the discussion. Our children unplug us—and plug in online.

We don’t get to choose what subjects our children will and won’t explore. We only get to choose if we will be part of that exploration, or if we will be left out.

It wasn’t that way when we were kids.

[H2] Big Change 3: Standards of Content

Do you remember what used to earn movies an R rating? Do you remember when erotic attire, partial frontal nudity, full rear nudity, gross use of expletives, and strong sexual language were not allowed in mainstream media? Such was the standard less than twenty years ago. Today, material that was deemed inappropriate for children and teens just one generation prior is now freely syndicated over network television, FM radio, and in public street signage.

Consider the billboards for the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show on the sides of buses. The women depicted in various states of undress are the height of the art and business of eroticism, the sensuous science of the minimum coverings to leave on a person in order to ignite passion to take everything off. Women as undressed as these were once deemed inappropriate for the eyes of children under the age of 18, whether in magazine or movie. Today such images are street signage.

When I was a boy, I remember my brother sneaking me in to a Chevy Chase movie called Modern Problems that was rated R because they showed Chevy’s tush in the movie. Such nudity is now allowed on prime-time network television. So too, graphic language that earned Smokey and the Bandit part III an R rating in the early 1980s is also standard to many of today’s most popular teen (and adult) television programs.

The imagery and language that we were protected from by our society when we were kids is no longer taboo. A much lower moral standard of highly sexualized content is being mainstreamed into the eyes and ears and minds of our children through virtually every media channel.

How blessed were we that we were protected from such material when we were young and impressionable kids.

Put such mainstream content together with Push Technology and a back door for learning, and the timeless generation gap has become a very dangerous chasm.

It is this chasm that media companies exploit—and they exploit it ruthlessly. People accuse the media companies of being immoral because of their approaches to marketing to youth. But this is a confused assessment. Media companies are not immoral, they are amoral.

The driver of a publicly traded company is its quarterly projections and its sales against those projections. As a business with a bottom line that must be met, the question that is being asked is the best way to meet that bottom line and turn potential consumers into dollar transactions. Morality is a question left for the house of worship. In business, it is an amoral question of sales. And if it sells, use it.

As parents and as people of faith, we make a mistake when we begin to expect businesses to protect and limit the content that they share with our children. They won’t.  

It is up to parents to set the moral bar. Companies, like children, will continually test our limits. We can fight companies by lobbying and protesting loudly, and this can help (as it has in the past). But we can also learn to understand the language of media marketing, and in doing so discover how best to conduct our own interactions with our kids. Within the science of these media relationships are deeply understood psychological factors. And many of them are good news for faith-based communities and caring parents.

***

There are four strategies for successful youth marketing that pervade today’s media consumer industry. They are:

1. Cookie-Crumbing
2. Blurring the Moral Barometer
3. The Trojan Horse
4. Delegitimizing Role Models

As would be expected, these strategies are the combined product of our country’s top MBAs and social scientists, and incorporate the unique vulnerabilities of today’s teens, as we have enumerated in the ‘Big Changes’ above.

For the sake of this article, I will summarize them on a cursory level. In our parenting workshop we explore these media strategies at much greater depth.

[H2] Cookie Crumbing

Cookie Crumbing recognizes that there are those media outlets that parents supervise more closely, and those that parents supervise less closely. Although parents may pay attention to what their teens are watching on television or what music their teens are listening to, few parents will follow online to the web-communities and discussion groups that these programs and music artists spawn.

So while operating in the more exposed and parentally supervised media outlets, media companies are more careful in the way they position and feed content to kids. These programs, however, are designed to lead kids down a bread-crumb trail and into an online environment where teens can be more freely and aggressively manipulated.

Another aspect of Cookie Crumbing is creating merchandise trails. Most of today’s teen entertainment icons have apparel lines, cosmetic lines, sporting-goods brands, and more.

Once upon a time a bad-boy band was only as bad as the band’s lyrics. Even if you liked Mick Jagger, the Rolling Stones did not make any money if you chose to dress like him. Today, a great deal of the pop icons are manufactured specifically for their commercial appeal. They are a package meant to create a lifestyle concept in teen minds, and lead teens from the music into stores to make an array of purchases around the given image brand.

[H2] Blurring the Moral Barometer

There is a concept in Jewish spiritual philosophy regarding a person’s evil inclination. We are taught that our evil inclination does not tell us to do bad things, because nobody wants to feel bad about him or herself. Rather, the evil inclination blurs the lines between good and bad, until a bad thing can be rationalized as being acceptable, and then we are free to do it without feeling guilty.

Media companies get this. And it is central to their relationship with today’s youth.

It is hard to get teens to buy into superficial and hedonistic concepts of life and an array of supporting products, especially since most teens are hungry for much deeper forms of validation and connection. By blurring a teen’s innate values, the teen becomes much easier to manipulate.

MTV stands for Music TeleVision. Most adults know this. What most adults do not know is that today music content makes up less than 20 percent of MTV’s broadcast content. The other 80 percent is what is called “Reality Programming.”

Why? Because MTV is not about music. Music is the hook. But defining culture and selling product is the business.

And these programs are not like Survivor on CBS. A good example of an MTV reality program would be Tila Tequila, where sixteen guys and sixteen girls compete for Tila’s passion. Because, you see, Tila is not sure if she is a lesbian or heterosexual, so contestants compete to see which way they can “flip” her.

The Tila program is only aired after hours, when teens are not watching TV (supposedly). But on MTV.com, which over 65 percent of online teens visit, you can see the show twenty-four hours a day.

What does this have to do with music? Nothing. But it has everything to do with dictating values to young people and owning the conversation over what is hip and what is not, and what makes us, as people, worthy or unworthy.

[H2] The Trojan Horse

The Trojan Horse is when the media companies use parents to sell a lifestyle icon to their kids, and then cut the parent out of the conversation. Classic examples of this are Britney Spears, Justin Timberlake (‘N Sync), and Christina Aguilera, who were all marketed as graduates of Disney’s Mickey Mouse Club. These performers were healthy alternatives for parents to steer their children toward, representing family values and chasteness, and providing an alternative to the dark music world around us.

Today, all of these pop-icons are highly sexualized with myriads of consumer products ranging from perfume to tequila. And just in case you think that this is because their audiences grew up, Britney’s new line of apparel, just announced in March 2009 to be carried exclusively at Kohls, is for Juniors. The clothing line includes black lace thongs for eleven-year-olds.

The change-up in the lifestyle-icon’s image is done suddenly and according to specific timing. The icon is allowed to percolate in the home and earn central status and approval by the parents for their youngster. And once the marriage is solidly consummated, typically after a few patient years, bang! An overnight image-change manifests, and it is too late for the parent to undo the sell. Suddenly our child is being led in a very frightening and new direction, as we are helpless to intervene.

[H2] Delegitimizing Role Models

Here comes the good news. This component of media-strategy is actually based upon statistical facts that media companies are very aware of, but most parents are not.

Most parents believe that the primary influence in their teen’s moral decision-making is their teen’s friends. This is false. While the majority of adults believe this to be true, the majority of teens in the United States assign this influence to their parents.

In addition, 71 percent of teens in the United States would like religious leaders to be more active in addressing moral and high-risk issues. Most parents and rabbis do not know this. All media companies do. And so, delegitimizing role models is critical to their success, because an engaged parent or rabbi can undo the whole ball of wax, and all those careful marketing dollars can go down the drain.

This is why shows like Dawson’s Creek, Beverly Hills 90210, and The OC all reverse the roles of parents and teens. All important life-decisions are made by the teens on the shows, while parents are shielded and protected by their kids as being too fragile for many of these hard questions. Kids on these shows are very respectful in the ways they talk to their parents, and so our guard as parents does not go up. But the underlying message is: “You can’t talk to them. They are not capable of understanding. You are old enough and strong enough and wise enough to decide for yourself.”

***

As parents, we are surprised to hear that we are the primary influence in our teens’ moral decision making. It doesn’t seem that way! We know that our teens talk to their friends about so very many intimate topics that they simply do not broach with us. So how can this statistic not be a lie? The answer is that no one said that your kids talk to you the most. The kids are simply saying that your influence as a parent is primary, and that of their friends and others is secondary.

Deep inside, we all know this to be true. Even as adults, we still care deeply about what our parents think (or might think, if they knew) about the decisions we make. The judgment of our parents haunts us, and in some cases charms us. But it is always there. Whether our parents were good or bad, kind or cruel, their judgment and influence looms over us in every important life-decision we make.

“So great,” you say. “We have the influence, but our kids don’t talk to us! What good does that do?”

And here we come to the section on parenting. Because the first step is learning that the power still lies with you. Learning how to use that influence is something we all can achieve.

***

The first step in creating In-Reach was to learn what today’s Jewish teens are thinking, and to find new approaches to supporting them in their moral and ethical decision-making process. Teens in the Jewish community benefit from a strong support structure. Caring parents, private schools with top-notch teachers, guidance staff, and outreach volunteers and professionals surround our teens with love and offer them many caring lifelines for difficult life choices they may be facing.

But today there is a new outlet, the web, which teens turn to when they want to discreetly ask and answer questions. And when we think about the types of private questions teens might choose to ask online, it is obvious how important it is for us to have a Jewish outpost in cyberspace for these kids. As we have learned, if we are not present to answer these questions, someone else will answer them in our place.

And so, working with leading Jewish clinical experts including Rabbi Dr. Abraham Twerski and Dr. David Pelcovitz, In-Reach created an online, anonymous social networking system for Jewish teens, a site that actually doubles as a clinically based peer-counseling system. The portal, called TheLockers.net, has served over 10,000 Jewish teens from across the United States and Canada, has hosted nearly 3,000 therapeutically supervised peer-discussions, and has enjoyed more than 27,000 posts from its teen users. Eighty percent of teens who use TheLockers.net come from public schools, most of whom have limited Jewish backgrounds. Twenty percent of our users come from Jewish Day Schools, ranging from Orthodox to Reform.

All activity on TheLockers.net is supervised by specially trained moderators, using a patent-pending online clinical methodology that was developed by In-Reach. And TheLockers community is extremely popular among teens, with over 70 percent of teenagers that hear about the system becoming users of it.

For over five years we have had the privilege of listening to Jewish youth from across North America share the most intimate and private questions of their lives with us. The primary topics are questions of Judaism and morality. Yet issues have ranged from family, to social stress, to school, to peer pressure, to body image, to drugs and drinking, to sex.

As we listened to and supported Jewish teens of all denominations, we began to learn from the teens about how traditional approaches to parenting were and were not working in a digital generation. Parenting workshops were created, and our learning from the teens was synthesized with the feedback, reactions, and real world experiences of hundreds of today’s parents from across the country.

There are seven central principles that were found to be common to all successful relationships between today’s parents and today’s teens. These principles define and clarify the lens through which traditional parenting approaches may be evaluated for success in a modern era. Furthermore, they provide a priceless guide for any parent struggling to understand, heal, or strengthen their relationship with their teen.

These insights are available to the Jewish community via parenting workshops that In-Reach delivers nationally, and will soon be supported by a book that teaches the seven central principles of value-based parenting. In addition, readers of Conversations are invited to be in touch with us via email, at [email protected], if there are specific questions we may answer for you.

There are new truths we must accept as a community and essential questions we must answer as parents and teachers.

It is vital that we come to accept the following new realities:

• Although the gap between parents and teens is timeless, the consequence of that gap has become much more serious.
• We are no longer the gatekeepers of our children’s learning. If we are not able or willing to address the questions of our children in a meaningful fashion, they will discuss their questions with someone else.
• Absolutes will backfire. Strong-arm parenting and absolute religious rules only work on a hostage audience. Today’s youth have alternatives. To succeed, our answers must demonstrate meaning and value.

The questions we must ask ourselves as parents, teachers, and rabbis are as follows:

• If a teen is making a major life decision, would he or she feel comfortable to come to us while contemplating the decision?
• If the decision was already made, and it was the wrong decision, would he or she feel comfortable to turn to us during the fallout?
• Do we know what we believe regarding values and faith—and why we believe it?
• Do we share what we believe with our children, consistently and through meaningful conversation and behavior?
• In a world where all temptations and values are on the table, why would our kids choose Judaism?
• Given the choice again, would we? Why?

The world we grew up in has changed. Our children are faced with choices that we never had to make, and they are assaulted with foreign values that are confusing even to adults. It is essential that we understand how their world has changed, and respect the impact and consequences of those changes.

As a Masoretic tradition—a tradition that is based upon transmission from parent to child and teacher to student—our success as a Jewish community is measured by the ultimate choices our children make. By learning to parent and teach according to values, instead of rules, we can provide our children with a Judaism that is relevant to the questions upon which their modern lives revolve.

I'm smart, successful at my career, and fun to be with. I've worked out many of my "issues" in therapy. Here I am, eminently eligible and ready for a relationship, but somehow all of the guys I meet just aren't there yet. I feel like prescribing them a course of therapy, life-skills, and relationship-skills, and telling them to return in a few years, though hopefully I'll have found someone by then...
Sarah, age 27

I really want to get married and build a "bayit ne'eman b'yisrael" and all that other good stuff, but sometimes life gets in the way. I'm struggling really deeply with my conflicting sexual and religious needs, while trying to move forward in my career, and still make it to minyan-all this under the watchful and critical eye of my parents and community. Spending Shabbat with my parents is the opposite of relaxing. I wonder whether they would have gotten married as young and as happily as they did had they had the same challenges to contend with when single as I do.
Avi, age 31

I hesitate to take up my pen and write about the broad topic of Orthodox singles. It's a topic on which much ink has been spilt and to little effect. I generally confine myself to the topic of singles and sexuality/religious conflict, which has been much less explored and where there are perhaps more constructive things to be written. However, I want to write briefly about some of the broader challenges faced by singles and by the Orthodox community. The issues are manifold and complex-spanning the religious, psychological, phenomenological, existential, physiological, and halakhic realms, among others-and my goals are limited. If I can succeed in making you question your assumptions about singles, or in breaking some of the myths that you hold dear, and shaking your sense of certainty about anything relating to singles and their place in the community, then I will have done enough. Deconstruction is easy compared to reconstruction, but it often needs to come first-I leave the rebuilding to the future.

We often hear mention of the "Shiddukh Crisis" or "Singles Problem" that currently plagues the Orthodox Jewish community. Various groups, organizations, synagogues, and individuals have given much thought to finding the "solution" or a range of "solutions" to this "problem." I don't want to enter into the fray of searching for solutions, partly because some of the "solutions" I've seen have been worse than the problem itself and have augmented the problem rather than solving it, and partly because I disagree with the entire construct of problem-solving that has been set up around Orthodox singles.

Let's start with some definitions: Many today would define the "Shiddukh Crisis" as the fact that today, more than ever before, large numbers of Jews are remaining single for longer, marrying later, or not marrying at all. This definition assumes that the mere status of married or unmarried is how we define success, and the quality of a person's married or single life doesn't matter to us. For many people, the "Singles Problem" is something that needs to be solved simply by getting everyone married as quickly as possible.

I want to suggest a different definition of the "Singles Problem": the crux of the crisis is, on the one hand, deeply personal, surrounding the individual issues that prevent people from either desiring or achieving a meaningful and committed relationship. And on the other hand, there is a wider communal dynamic in which the Orthodox community simply doesn't know how to include the unmarried individuals in its midst and often alienates singles, forcing them to either form their own singles communities or to leave Orthodoxy.

In this article, I want to focus on the intersection between the single and the community and on some of the myths that prevent mutual understanding.

Beginning the Myth-Breaking

The line between straining at truths that prove to be imbecilically self-evident, on the one hand, and on the other hand tossing off commonplaces that turn out to retain their power to galvanize and divide, is weirdly unpredictable. In dealing with an open-secret structure, it's only by being shameless about risking the obvious that we happen into the vicinity of the transformative....
Eve Kosofsky Sedgwick, Epistemology of the Closet, p. 22

Before we can move toward a productive conversation about singles and their place in the community, I need to clear the ground from some of the many and often contradictory myths that currently prevail regarding singles. The very act of generalizing-of making statements that are relevant to "all singles" or "everyone"-does violence to the individual and his or her experience. Individuals come in different shapes and sizes; physically, emotionally, intellectually-and they relate differently to this period in their lives. We simply can't make any general assumptions about people. 
I have chosen five common myths that I want to break systematically, though there are many more. I begin with the sexual realm because I think that it is the proverbial elephant in the room, which often hovers in people's consciousnesses but is not mentioned in polite conversation. Since halakha does not permit pre-marital sex or any physical contact with the opposite sex ("negiah"), singles either are not sexually active, or their sexual activity is illegitimate. Therefore, they are either grappling with sexual denial or repression, or they are violating the halakha. Either way, their situation is one that the wider community cannot easily identify with. The prevalence of assumptions and dearth of real information about people's sexual beliefs and practices-the confusion between myth and fact-may contribute to suspicion mixed with awkwardness in interactions between singles and members of the wider community. In this vein the myths can be especially damaging.

Myth #1: Everyone is "shomer negiah" /No one is "shomer negiah."

These myths, though they contradict each other, are both quite prevalent within the Orthodox community. Each comes from a totalizing perspective that seeks to reduce all singles to the same experience so that we don't need to give the matter further thought. If all singles are shomer negiah, then the system works-everything is fine, there is no conflict to be reckoned with, and we need not concern ourselves with the personal toll that this halakhic observance may be having upon the individual. On the other hand, if no singles are shomer negiah, then there is also no conflict-singles simply don't care about the halakha and thus they aren't part of the community. Each of these totalizing perspectives is detrimental and each ignores the uniqueness of the individual and the fact that people are different and that they cope with singlehood in different ways. 
Although sex and sexuality are universal phenomena, they are experienced differently by different individuals and even by the same individual in different stages of life. For some, sexuality is a major challenge during the single years. For others, sexuality is a non-issue, or a minor issue. Some observe negiah with ease, others with difficulty, others not at all. Some are shomer negiah in some relationships and not in others or with some people and not with others. For others, the status changes with time. The endless permutations make stereotypes worthless. There are people who don't look the part who are completely shomer negiah, and people learning in yeshiva who visit prostitutes. A friend of mine recently asked two male friends of hers, of similar age and profession, what they were looking for in a wife in terms of her sexual experience-the answers they gave were diametrically opposed. One would only date women who had never touched men, because "If I waited, why couldn't she?" and the other would only date women who had had some physical contact with men, because, "I don't want someone who's not having sex just so that her ketubah [marriage contract] can say betulah [virgin] (which it can either way)." Leave the stereotypes behind and look at the person who is facing you.

Myth #2: Anyone who engages in premarital sexual activity is totally fine with it.

This myth is particularly damaging because it allows us to ignore the pain and conflict that many Orthodox singles are experiencing. Although there are certainly singles who are not conflicted about their premarital sexual activity, all of the singles with whom I have spoken have struggled very deeply with these issues-either overtly or beneath the surface-and while some eventually made their peace with the choices they made, others continue to struggle.

An extension of this myth is that those who engage in premarital sexual activity simply don't care about the halakha. Most of the singles that I have spoken with cared deeply about the halakha, and it was precisely because they cared so much about the halakha that they were thrown into such a deep existential conflict in its violation. However, the guilt surrounding premarital sexual activity is not purely due to halakhic violation. For many people feelings of guilt are a complex combination of many factors, the halakha being one, and communal or familial expectations and social pressures being another. For women especially, society's double standard of sexual behavior adds onto the halakhic layer the feelings of being "damaged goods" once one engages in premarital sexual activity, and raises questions about one's larger identity as a good girl, a good person, and a good Jew. Even those singles I spoke with who chose to leave the halakhic lifestyle retained a lingering sense of guilt and discomfort about their decisions in the sexual realm.

Myth #3: Singles are happy the way they are-they don't want to be part of the "broader Orthodox community."

"Community" means different things to different people. Here I am using this term in an intentionally ambiguous way, though on a basic level I am referring to the community that forms around a synagogue or a neighborhood. In either case, families are generally the building block of the community. Depending on the specific community, singles may have formed their own minyan, or in places with fewer singles, singles may be either invisible within the communal framework or may be full members of the community.

If we take this myth in the specific context of the community that forms around a synagogue, then the exact opposite is often true as well: Many singles feel so alone and isolated that they are often thirsting to be a part of the larger community, if only the community would let them. Especially in the absence of a spouse-who, among other things, provides a regular companion for Shabbat meals-singles often appreciate the sense of belonging or of being part of something larger than oneself.

However, not all singles want to be involved in the community to the same extent, and the community should be sensitive to the range of needs that individuals might have. Some singles might appreciate an invitation to a Shabbat meal, others might appreciate being set up, others might just want a smile and greeting after prayer services, and others might want a more active role on the synagogue board or on various committees. And beyond these concrete actions, there is the ineffable; the sense you get when the person in front of you is being perfunctory in conversation, scanning the room for someone else to talk to, the sense you get when "How are you" is a statement rather than a question. Married people: Be open to singles the same way you would be open to a new family that joins your community, and allow the situation and the person standing in front of you to guide your actions.

 Myth #4: Any attempt on the part of the Orthodox community to grapple openly and deal seriously with the challenges and conflicts that singles face will help to legitimize perpetual singlehood and make singles even less likely to marry.

In 2009, when the numbers of unmarried Orthodox Jews in their twenties, thirties, and forties have reached an unprecedented high, and when the percentage of Jews who end up never marrying is increasing, failure to confront the issue constitutes an act of burying our heads in the sand, and further alienating those singles who remain part of the Orthodox community. At this point, the question of legitimization of singlehood is almost moot, as the numbers speak for themselves, with the message that people are remaining single, with or without such legitimization. We as a community need to get over the fear of raising questions, and singles are just the tip of the iceberg here.

Several years ago, when single, I was part of a committee of both married and single individuals (which included rabbis and communal leaders) that was dedicated to thinking through the "singles problem" and trying to offer "solutions." Even after a couple of years of conversations, and countless suggestions, this committee was not able to take any definitive steps. We had finally realized the complexity of the issues involved and realized that the proposed "solutions" were merely band-aids that didn't get to the heart of the problem. At one point this myth surfaced and the committee began to question its existence-was the very fact of our open conversation going to somehow legitimize singlehood? Aside from the fact that none of this committee's deliberations were public, I felt impelled to point out in an email that, "To assume that communal pressure [for marriage] will help the matter is misguided.... Please trust me when I say that no amount of communal acceptance and welcome will ever make any of us forget that we are not your ideal and never will be until we are married with children" (1/2/05).

Sylvia Barack Fishman puts the issue in more extreme terms, which are perhaps reflective (or perhaps not) of the threat that the community construes in its singles: 
The question facing Orthodox communities today has some similarities to Jewish communal questions about how to treat intermarried families: Outreach activists urge inclusiveness-"why not accept the singles community as it is"-while others counter that total inclusiveness would be tantamount to legitimating singleness as an alternative lifestyle for Orthodox Jews. Thinking about the treatment of Orthodox singles thus demands coming to terms with deep philosophical, sociological, and communitarian issues. (Gender Relationships in Marriage and Out, p. 111) 
Perhaps the extremity of the comparison is illustrative of how deeply threatened the community feels by the existence of singles.

 Myth #5: The sexual restrictions of yihud and negiah have the teleological purpose of ensuring that people have only one sexual partner in life (namely, their spouse); these halakhot are rooted in an awareness of the psychological and spiritual damage that even casual premarital physical contact can cause.

This myth is perhaps the most detrimental myth of all, in that it breaks out of the communal sphere and speaks to each and every single who has ever had even accidental physical contact with a member of the opposite sex, and tells them that they will suffer for this act and it will impact their ability to form a happy marriage; how much more so the individual who has had intentional sexual contact. This idea comes from those popular Jewish authors who, in their quest to convince teenagers to become shomer negiah have-without any use of Jewish texts and sources-read their own pop-psychology into this law.

Although I cannot fully break this myth in the context of the present article, suffice it to say now that the existence of biblical polygamy, concubines, and prostitutes-categories that are all difficult to reconcile with Judaism as we currently live it-and, on a more normative plane, the encouraging of remarriage for those who have been widowed or divorced, serve to dispel the notion that lifelong monogamy is the root of these prohibitions. There is no authoritative source that I am aware of that discusses the psychological or spiritual damage that will ensue upon violating these restrictions, any more than the spiritual damage that results from any sin that can be healed through repentance. In fact, a cursory reading of Maimonides (Hilkhot Issurei Bi'ah, chapter 21) and the Shulhan Arukh (Even haEzer 25, Orakh Hayyim 240) reveals a very different root to these prohibitions, which is perhaps more disturbing to our modern sensibilities; namely, a striving for asceticism, even within marriage!

To promulgate myths of this nature under the banner of "Judaism," "Torah," and "halakha" has a detrimental effect because it compounds the guilt and anxiety of many singles who are committed to Judaism but for psychological, emotional, or physiological reasons are not observing all of the sexual restrictions mandated by halakha. Although there is certainly value in encouraging abstinence among teenagers, we cannot achieve this at the price of being dishonest about Judaism and halakha.

A corollary of this myth is the assumption that there is no difference between teenagers, and those in their twenties, thirties, and forties who are single. Not distinguishing between adolescent sexuality and adult sexuality reflects a failure to see singles as adults who, among other characteristics, are also fully developed sexual beings, with needs and desires that are substantively similar to those of their married counterparts. There is nothing natural about being a "40-year-old-virgin"-and the halakha itself recognized this and therefore encouraged early marriage. Even if halakha today constrains us from endorsing premarital sexual activity, we as a community need to adopt a more empathetic and understanding stance to those who engage in it; the thirty-year-old woman who is physical with her serious boyfriend is different from the adolescent whose hormones have overtaken him. It is time we stop infantilizing singles under the banner of halakha.
***

The topic of singles in the Orthodox community is complex and is comprised of many different issues and questions, which are often lumped together into the same category. There are the personal crises that individuals are forced to navigate, the interpersonal issues involved in the process of seeking out and building intimate relationships, the family dynamics that arise during singlehood and the wider communal issues, as well as the religious and sexual issues, to name but a few. We are still a long way from fully understanding any of these issues, let alone knowing how to address them. However, I hope that this exercise in myth-breaking will have helped clear the way toward increasing understanding between singles and the broader community and toward opening the conversation.

Jonathan Kolatch's most recent books are China Mosaic and At the Corner of Fact & Fancy. His articles on the Far East, the Middle East, the American rural scene and medicine have appeared in The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal and The Washington Post. This article appears in issue 9 of Conversations, the journal of the Institute for Jewish Ideas and Ideals.

Before questioning the usefulness of the word “Orthodox,” let’s first acknowledge the need that this term serves. Congregations, like individuals, find benefit in affiliating with congregations of similar direction. Such affiliation provides the weight of numbers when larger issues, such as intermarriage and conversion, separation of church and state, recognition of homosexuals as congregants, and political positions on national and international issues, need to be addressed. Umbrella organizations also facilitate the establishment of religious standards for prayer, the ordination of rabbis, and the certification of teachers. They streamline fundraising. So, inevitably, groups such as the Union of Orthodox Jewish Congregations, the United Synagogue of Conservative Judaism, and the Union for Reform Judaism have come into being. The assumption that all individuals whose congregations are served by one of these umbrella organizations subscribe to the general standards of that organization is false.

That said, when used to categorize individuals, the word “Orthodox” (and its cognate, “religious”), its flavor of piety notwithstanding, is often a troublemaker: In the misconceptions it generates, in the provocation and divisiveness it engenders. In English or in its Hebrew equivalent, dati, it often conveys unintended meanings.

The term Orthodox is misleading because it hints at a uniform standard of religious conduct that, in reality, does not exist. When used to enforce exclusivity—the holier-than-thou phenomenon—it can become haughty, condescending, downright mean: ‘I am more Jewish than you.’

My brother, who is not at all ignorant when it comes to things Jewish, but who grew up in a Conservative home, with somewhat limited contact with Orthodox Jews, asks frequently if A or B is Orthodox, citing some degree of observance or dress. I, who belong to an Orthodox synagogue and have more extensive contact with Orthodox Jews—both in the United States and in Israel—am hard pressed to provide a sharp answer.

Outer appearance parameters vary too greatly to be instructive: head covered or not (yarmulke in all its forms or black hat for men; kerchief, hat, or wig for women); beard or clean shaven; tsitsith (prayer fringes) for men (worn inside one’s pants, outside, or not at all); slacks or floor-sweeping dress; how much of a woman’s arms are covered.

Is a man with an untrimmed, straggly beard more Orthodox than one who keeps his beard well groomed? What about a woman who doesn’t cover her head, who wears pants, who exposes her shoulders? Can she still be considered “Orthodox”?

Over the past winter, I spent a few days at Kibbutz S’de Eliyahu, an established Orthodox kibbutz in Israel’s Jordan Valley. Confused by the menagerie of women’s attire at the kibbutz, put this question to Beni Gavrieli, a transplanted American, with Conservative roots, who has lived at the kibbutz for two decades and has adapted to the Orthodox way of life. He proved sensitive to the question.

Beni told me that at S’de Eliyahu you find four types of women: those who cover their heads and wear long skirts, those who don’t cover their heads and wear long skirts, those who cover their heads and wear pants, and those who don’t cover their heads and wear pants. What is the conclusion? That women who don’t cover their heads and wear pants are not Orthodox? That S’de Eliyahu is not a religious kibbutz? That, when it comes to dress, Orthodoxy has no definable criteria? Nadia Matar, the noted Israeli activist and founder of Women in Green, an observant Jew by all standards, keeps her head uncovered at home, and, perhaps in deference to others, dons a baseball cap when she leaves the house.

An Israeli cousin with an Orthodox pedigree (graduate of Netiv Meir Yeshiva High School in Jerusalem and the hesder religious study-army service program), told me that the kerchief that Orthodox women wear on their heads “looks like a rag.” A year later, he got married. And what does his wife wear on her head? Right.

The unattractive (some call “dumpy”) dress of religious women, as much as anything, molds the negative image that the non-Orthodox (Jew and Gentile) carry of Orthodox Jews. Before meeting my cousin’s wife, from her picture alone, I had this same gut feeling of unworldliness. It turns out that she has two university degrees and is well traveled. I wonder whether her dress is out of choice or out of a need to meet standards of family and friends.

Whether or not one wears a yarmulke at all times is one of the most reliable outer dress indicators of whether a man is Orthodox. And if you are a perceptive observer, you can draw useful conclusions about the religious inclinations of the wearer by what sits on his head (broadcloth yarmulke, knitted yarmulke with bobby pins or clips, large knitted yarmulke, black yarmulke without pins, hats—black and otherwise).

But all who tend toward an observant lifestyle do not wear yarmulkes full time. Many take their skull caps off when not praying. Orthodox lawyers sometimes go bareheaded in court so that their religious preference does not influence the proceedings. Other times, people are just inconsistent. Some eat with their heads covered on the Sabbath, but not on weekdays or when eating out. A Reconstructionist rabbi I know puts on a yarmulke whenever he goes into a kosher restaurant, but not when he goes into a non-kosher restaurant. If at my Orthodox synagogue all who removed their yarmulkes after prayers (and by common perception are not Orthodox) were disqualified, there would be no minyan (quorum) at many weekday services.

Nowadays, particularly among rabbinical students, there are Conservative Jews who walk around with knitted yarmulkes on their heads all the time. They would bridle at being described as Orthodox. Yet, in behavior, if not in philosophy, they differ little if at all from Orthodox Jews.

♦ ♦ ♦

The degree of Sabbath observance is usually very predictive of whether or not one is Orthodox. Those who call themselves Orthodox Jews do not use electricity on the Sabbath; they don’t answer the phone, watch television, or listen to the radio; they don’t write or use computers. But you don’t know what they do in their own homes when no one is watching. The wife of a cousin in Israel once told me that occasionally her husband, who prayed daily, and was very careful with what he ate when traveling overseas for his work, would flip on the light by his bed on Friday night to read. Is he alone among those who call themselves Orthodox?

And there are practical considerations. My late uncle, an Orthodox Jew, who at the most inopportune moments could be seen drifting into a corner to pray and kept his head covered at all times, routinely returned home after dark on Friday afternoon in the winter. He ran a small business and could find no alternative. Many religious Jews fit into that category.

♦ ♦ ♦

With Sabbath observance, eating kosher food is certainly the most instructive parameter of being a religious Jew. But what does keeping kosher mean?

Even if you were given free access to poke around in someone’s kitchen and cupboards, you might come away with the wrong conclusion.

Orthodox kitchens customarily have two sinks, to maximally separate meat and dairy. But some families who live in small spaces suffice with one sink and separate sink boards. Others use one sink and two drainboards. Some don’t worry about sinks and drainboards.

It is usually permissible for drinking glasses to be used interchangeably for meat and dairy. But what about glass plates, which are no more absorbent?

Some of the food in the pantry or refrigerator you are exploring might lack kosher certification, but be perfectly kosher. The manufacturer might not be willing to be blackmailed by the certification agency. Or the foods—tea, coffee, spices, pasta, oils, sugar, salt, frozen vegetables—might be intrinsically kosher and the household unwilling to submit to nonsensical certification, which stretches to aluminum foil, wax paper, and plastic bags. And there is the concept of glatt kosher, which has no halakhic or logical basis. You cannot be more kosher than kosher.

Where and what Orthodox Jews eat outside of their homes often tells little about their Orthodoxy. There are those who will not eat in a kosher certified restaurant that is not Sabbath-observant, oblivious to the fact that it is the food that is being certified, not the restaurant or its workers. Some religious Jews will eat cold food in a restaurant serving non-kosher food; some will only eat salads; others will eat fish. Some will have a cup of coffee and no more. An Orthodox lawyer friend of mine, the former president of a prominent Orthodox congregation, will not eat in Fine & Schapiro, a noted kosher restaurant in Manhattan with a letter of certification in the window, because the restaurant is open on Saturday. But he will order a tuna fish sandwich in a non-kosher restaurant. The patterns of compromise and inconsistency are endless.

♦ ♦ ♦

Understanding the wide variation of Orthodox practice is crucial because the larger American Jewish population, not to speak of non-Jews, cannot differentiate between shades of Orthodoxy. The image that they carry of Orthodox Jews is of the narrow, judgmental, uncompromising, holier-than-thou segment that sees itself as the savior of the Jewish people.

No one knows what percentage of Orthodox Jews falls into this “holier-than-thou” category. But they are sufficient to blur the image of observant Jews. Such holier-than-thous will take pains to straighten the tefillin on the head of a visiting parishioner, claiming that it does not meet the hairline criteria; remove the light bulb from the refrigerator of a home that they are visiting before the onset of the Sabbath; scrutinize the mezuzot on doorposts and comment if they do not contain real parchment; turn an upward pointing etrog (citron) downward just as someone is reciting the lulav benediction on Sukkot. They are boorish, intolerant, unable to look you in the eye as equal Jews. Their way is the only way.

In our family, my father, whose name is known to many of all religious stripes for his best-selling, non-judgmental books on Judaism, was uninvited from taking part in the wedding ceremony of his niece at the last moment because, as a Conservative rabbi, he was deemed insufficiently Jewish.

Surprisingly, in my experience, the holier-than-thou attitude is more common among a segment of the American Orthodox population than among those who call themselves religious in Israel (and know on average a great deal more about Jewish religious practice than their American cousins). Perhaps it is the siege mentality of being a remnant minority in a sea of non-Jews.

♦ ♦ ♦

You can’t delve very far into a discussion of religious practice without confronting the question of consistency. Few Orthodox Jews fulfill all of the religious duties they think they should all the time. Inconsistency is what makes Orthodoxy such an elusive concept.

If a practicing Jew expects others to be tolerant of his religious customs, which are not adhered to by most Jews, he cannot refuse to eat in a friend’s home because it is not kosher while routinely eating a dairy sandwich in a non-kosher coffee shop. He cannot be absent from work on religious grounds one Sabbath and show up for work on the next. Onlookers get confused. Jews are as susceptible to this confusion as non-Jews.

My frequent trips to China and Japan over many years frequently put me face-to-face with this dilemma. My travel purpose is to mix with the people and see how they live. No daily activity is more important to Chinese than eating. Whether at home or in a restaurant, you can’t interact with Chinese very long without eating. I have explained hundreds of times what “kosher” means, without using the word. Often, that leads to differentiating between kosher and Moslem halal practices. Asians have a hard time understanding all these distinctions, but go a long way toward accommodating them. When the chief chef at a Chinese sports camp heard that potatoes were okay, potatoes baked in their jackets appeared every night at the table. A Tibetan woman made me a special cornmeal cake that she had milled herself.

From time to time, I meet up with some of these Chinese friends in larger Chinese cities such as Beijing and Shanghai, which have safer eating alternatives: vegetarian restaurants, which are close to 100 percent kosher without the certification. Why I eat vegetables and noodles at a sports camp in Kunming but would prefer a vegetarian restaurant in Beijing often confuses them.

My uncle, who has read my writings, asks with more than a little annoyance why, if I eat vegetables at a non-kosher restaurant in China or Japan, I insist on kosher or vegetarian restaurants back home. My answer is that here I have a choice.

There are two active Jewish concepts embedded in inconsistency that merit attention: mar’it ayin, how things appear to an outside observer; and b’farhesia, in the public domain.

Invoking mar’it ayin, Rabbi Moshe Feinstein ruled that a Harvard student could not participate in his graduation exercises on Shavuot because, although walking to the ceremony incurred no desecration of the holiday, it might appear to others that he drove to the ceremony. Rabbi Joseph Caro, the compiler of the Shulhan Arukh, ruled that “milk” made from almonds could not be served at a meat meal, because it might be misconstrued as mixing dairy with meat. Walking in the street in work clothes on the Sabbath, though no work is being done, would fall into this category. The implication is that behavior which with certainty will go unobserved is less objectionable according to Jewish law than public actions.

B’farhesia refers to actions performed in the public domain. Though the opposite may be expected, transgressions, Sabbath or otherwise, that are committed in one’s own domain, out of public view, and thus shame-proof, are no less contrary to Jewish law than the same prohibitions performed in public. Nevertheless, many religious Jews continue to make the distinction between private and public domain.

♦ ♦ ♦

The argument here is that if the word Orthodox were to be purged from the lexicon, and every person stood tall beside his own persona, we would have a more cohesive Judaism. That is why, when asked if I am Orthodox, I respond that I am observant, which allows for more differences, without a need to specify them. When they prospect over-intrusively for details, I paraphrase in Hebrew from the words of the havdalah prayer that ends the Sabbath: “Ani mavdil bayn kodesh leHol, I differentiate between the sacred Sabbath and the secular workweek.” That usually quiets them.

The term “Modern Orthodoxy” is a broad label applied to a wide spectrum of religious observance and a variety of philosophical stances. Yet despite this inclusivity, Modern Orthodoxy currently finds itself at a crossroads in which its borders and central message are being reconsidered and redefined. Leaders are reexamining the boundaries of what is deemed permissible by halakha in realms such as conversion, kashruth, and rabbinic ordination. Furthermore, both clergy and laypeople alike are looking for innovative ways to re-imagine Modern Orthodoxy from the inside through new approaches to prayer and spirituality, while at the same time maintaining their scholarly commitment. My purpose in writing this article is relatively simple: I hope to spark an ongoing conversation that focuses upon the question of how Jewish mysticism may aid in revitalizing Modern Orthodoxy. Or, to reframe the question in terms of a hypothesis: Although facets of the classical Jewish philosophical tradition have already been chosen as a banner for the re-invigoration of contemporary Orthodoxy, I intend to demonstrate that our kabbalistic and mystical literature will be an equally rich source for this process of intellectual and spiritual rebirth.

It cannot easily be denied that an overwhelming number of the great Jewish spiritual leaders of the twentieth century have used mystical thought in their quest to make religious life meaningful for a modern Jewish community. Among these are influential traditional thinkers such as Abraham Isaac Kook, Hillel Zeitlin, and Menachem Mendel Schneerson, as well as Shlomo Carlebach, Michael Fishbane, and Abraham Joshua Heschel. The broad list includes many leaders outside of the Orthodox world as well, for other Jewish movements have also embraced mystical ideas as a compelling and additive component of modern religious thought. More liberal thinkers such as Zalman Schachter-Shalomi and Arthur Green have sought to bring the study of mysticism to the front of a vibrant contemporary Jewish theology. Over the past hundred years leaders across nearly all sectors of modern Jewish life have promoted Kabbalah to the foreground as a potent catalyst for spiritual renewal.

Despite this increase in popularity, Kabbalah has a somewhat besmirched and Janus-faced reputation. On one hand, many contend even now that Kabbalah is intellectually flaccid, conceptually irresponsible, and even quite dangerous to conventional notions of God and Torah. Kabbalah’s prominent position is undoubtedly in some part due to an approach favored by some contemporary institutions that warp the tradition by de-contextualizing its teachings and projecting them through a business model using post-modern philosophy. These facile portrayals of mysticism should not be conflated with the authentic Kabbalah as taught by the traditional leaders mentioned above.

There is no reason to assume that immersion in Kabbalah necessarily makes one more likely drift into antinomianism and heresy. While it is true that some Jewish mystics such as the infamous Shabbatai Tzvi have indeed done so, a great number of our outstanding talmudists and halakhic commentators—from Ramban to the Vilna Gaon—were undeniably steeped in the language of Kabbalah as well. Surely for them mysticism and law were not two competitive modes of thought, with the latter precipitously seeking to mitigate the anarchical hazards of the former. In their eyes halakha and Kabbalah were fused in an organic and complementary system that simultaneously ensures ritual observance while promoting spiritual engagement. Indeed, mystical texts often display a strong legal conservatism, and their authors are so preoccupied with cultivating inner piety by providing halakhawith infinitely deeper shades of meaning. Kabbalah is only truly dangerous when heedlessly removed from the framework of tradition.

On the other hand, Jewish mysticism is sometimes criticized for being xenophobic, or esoteric to the point of obscurity. However, nuanced and careful readings of mystical texts will prove that much of Kabbalah’s wisdom is neither arcane nor antiquated, but must simply be framed in such a way that allows it to be a relevant resource for contemporary Jewish thought. Another often-levied charge against the study of mysticism is that although Kabbalah is true and authentic (at least in some way), we are a generation of such low stature that we lack the spiritual fortitude, and even the permission, to involve ourselves with its ideas. I believe that we who straddle the worlds of modernity and tradition cannot afford to maintain this position, for it will totally preclude drawing religious inspiration from any part of our mystical tradition. In sum, regardless of the accusations of its detractors, the study of Kabbalah may indeed be a potent force in the revitalization of Modern Orthodoxy, for it will only foster rigorous intellectual engagement, further strengthen traditional halakhic commitment, and profoundly broaden our own religious experience.

The Mandate for Intellectual Creativity

Modern Orthodoxy historically has prided itself on demanding a relatively high level of intellectual engagement of its adherents. In order to retain the vibrancy of this tradition, we must continue to originate new works of scholarship that are both spiritually meaningful and intellectually compelling. If this creative flexibility and openness is not sustained, even Modern Orthodoxy will not remain immune from lapsing into blind reliance upon routinized dogma. An ossified and formulaic ideology will not captivate the minds and hearts of the next generation, nor will it strengthen their resolve to commit themselves to a system of life founded in observance of halakha and mitzvoth while surrounded by a society that does not require this of them a priori. We must not only reiterate the wisdom of the sages who came before us, but continuously seek new ways to refine and rearticulate our intellectual heritage in a manner that speaks to our own contemporary experience.

Kabbalistic literature demonstrates a bold interpretive approach that is intrinsically creative. The mystical exegete has license to break open scriptural texts and recombine them in such a way that they reveal new religious messages, a method very much akin to that of the ancient ba’alei haMidrash. Verses are scrutinized on a microcosmic level for the tiniest inconsistency or ambiguity, which the kabbalist then uses to elucidate a point regarding a spiritual truth that may be either cosmic or personal. The paradigm of scriptural interpretation qua dramatic act of innovation is repeatedly exemplified in Sefer haZohar, the foundational text of Jewish mysticism. As the chronicle unfolds, R. Shimon bar Yohai and his compatriots interpret verse after verse in the manner mentioned above, and through their homilies it becomes clear that they believe all existence is sustained through the efforts of the talmidei hakhamim who ceaselessly engage in Torah study. However, in order to re-infuse the world with vitality, their learning cannot be simple repetition or rote memorization of preexisting texts or concepts. Scholars must rather constantly offer fresh and dynamic interpretations of biblical passages. The Zohar even expresses creative engagement with Torah as the ultimate act of imitatio dei: God’s creation of the world through speech is mirrored by a scholar’s innovative exegesis of the words of the divine text.[i][DEA1]

The early Hassidic masters were also keenly attuned to this need for constant and creative reengagement with the traditional corpus. Their teachings are vibrant and daring, and perhaps even more importantly, their interpretive process itself often demonstrates the supple flexibility with which they treat our textual canon. Early Hassidic works generally present multiple, and at times even contradictory, explanations for the same verse, each one of them targeted to articulate a unique spiritual point. In this exegetical method, and in the teachings generated through it, the overarching rule is clear: There exists an unending obligation for individuals to constantly plumb the depths of Torah and bring out ideas that have hitherto remained unexpressed, and that address the particular needs of that generation. We shall find this mandate for interpretive innovation clearly elucidated in the following passage from Degel Mahaneh Ephraim, an important collection of homilies attributed to the R. Moshe Haim Ephraim of Sudilkov (d. 1800):[ii]

“This is the book of the descendents of man.”[iii] Let us begin with what I have said about the verse “Moses diligently inquired about the goat of the sin-offering.”[iv] There is a tradition that “diligently inquired” (darosh darash) is the halfway point in the words of the Torah,[v] but the significance of this is not yet clear.

In answer we can say that the Written Torah and the Oral Torah are one, as is known. They are totally indivisible from each other, for one cannot exist without the other.  This means that the Written Torah reveals its hidden mysteries through the Oral Torah; the Written Torah without the Oral Torah is incomplete. It was only half of a book until the Sages came and expounded (darshu) the Torah and revealed things that had previously been sealed. At times they even uprooted something in the Torah, as in the case of lashes, where the Torah assigns the number forty but the Sages subtracted one.[vi]  All of this was made possible because of their divine inspiration, which gave them the ability [to interpret it in this manner]. The completion of the Written Torah depends entirely on the Oral Torah.  Therefore one who denies that the principle kal veHomer is from the Torah, or disagrees with a statement of the Sages is like one who denies the Torah of Moses itself.[vii] All depends on the interpretations (derashot) of the Sages, and they are the essence of the completion of the Torah …

… and so it must be in every age that the interpreters complete the Torah, for the Torah is expounded in each generation corresponding to the needs of that particular time, according to the root of the soul of that generation. The Blessed One will enlighten the eyes of the sages of the generation with His holy Torah, and one who denies this is also likened to one who repudiates the Torah.

The nature of the “descendents” mentioned in the original verse, although not explicitly identified in this passage, is unmistakable: they are the novel reinterpretations brought forth in each generation. It is our obligation to complete the Torah anew in every age by means of our creative engagement with the text, and the R. Moshe Haim Ephraim demands that the sages of each and every age make the biblical text eternally relevant through their innovative interpretations. In other words, they must offer some sort of new spiritual message that speaks to each generation beyond the strictures of its literal interpretation. This creativity is the lasting intellectual progeny of mankind, which complements and even completes the Divine component of our inherited wisdom.

As if to preempt the assumption that we share the same unlimited freedom as the early Sages, he cautions us against this by condemning any and all dissent from their rulings. Creative interpretations of Torah are necessary, but they do have limits. However, he levies this warning against the other extreme as well, saying that one who challenges the need for reinterpretation and the authority of each new generation is equally guilty of denying the validity of Torah itself. It is clear that a balance must be struck between these poles, but if we becomes paralyzed with fear and refuse to reinterpret the Torah, our reticence will prevent us from fulfilling what R. Moshe Haim Ephraim argues is among the central precepts of our faith.

            Recognizing this approach to interpretation will be essential for Modern Orthodoxy in the years to come, since it will allow us to respond with great flexibility to the challenges of modernity, searching within our canon for ways to rearticulate its core ideas in a manner both intelligible and relevant to our lives. Furthermore, this passage does not suggest that we simply have the freedom to reexamine if, and only if, the spirit so moves us. Rather, it spells out an unceasing obligation that demands that we maximize our creative potential by constantly reinterpreting the Torah in a manner that is specifically applicable to our day.

The Question of Gender

It is clear that the question of gender roles will remain a central issue for Modern Orthodoxy in the coming decades. The recent controversies over new possibilities in female religious leadership only confirm this fact. Noting this, I submit that the literature of our mystical tradition has much wisdom to bring to the discussion as well. There are important trends in Kabbalah that present a finely balanced approach to the relationship between male and female, in both cosmic/symbolic and personal/physical terms. This fact should not be overshadowed by other mystical elements that display pre-modern conceptions of gender bordering on what we might today call misogyny, for such a pejorative reading would be obtusely anachronistic. Furthermore, these same ideas are found within core rabbinic and halakhic literature as well, and they must equally be dealt with by any member of Modern Orthodoxy committed to our textual canon. In the following example, taken from the Hasidic classic Avodat Yisrael by the Maggid of Kozhnitz (d. 1814), we shall see that mystical texts may indeed have salient voice in the reexamining of gender roles as Modern Orthodoxy continues to evolve:[viii]

There are times when a woman has no desire to adorn herself and unite with her beloved.  And yet, because of her profound understanding of her husband and her deep longing to bring him happiness, she dresses herself up and smiles at him, to the extent that it seems to him as if she is beckoning. Her true intention in this is not for herself, but rather to gladden the heart of her husband.

In these moments she feels awful and upset on account of some external difficulties or frustrating events. If only her husband understood the entirety of what lies within her heart and the greatness of the love hidden within her bosom, demonstrated in concealing her anguish and resolving to bring happiness to her husband. Certainly because of this, his love for her will be increased a thousand times! If it were within his power to put all to right and sweep away her suffering and the worries of her soul, in an instant her husband would do all that he could.

The same dynamic holds true with Keneset Yisrael and her Beloved. If she suffers for any reason, or is afflicted by some evil decree, she nonetheless gathers her strength and adorns herself, doing what her Husband asks of her by rejoicing with him on Shabbat and holidays, and during the time of prayer or the performance of a mitzvah. When the blessed Creator, who knows and understands all thoughts, sees that she has turned aside from the sorrows of her heart, His love burns within Him like the pillars of fire. He understands the embitterment of her soul, and is infinitely capable of triumphing over and subduing all of her enemies. This is the meaning of: “Who is a proper woman? The one does the will of her husband!”[ix] In other words, she brings the will of her Husband into reality.

This passage rearticulates familiar categories of male and female in a tremendously innovative way, suggesting a conception of gender in which the relationship between the two is nuanced, balanced, and in many ways equal. While there are other excurses within kabbalistic literature that invert or challenge notions of gender more fundamentally, I have nevertheless selected this text precisely because it does invoke traditional imagery to convey a spiritual message of both personal and national relevance. It will be impossible for Modern Orthodoxy to fully shed the gender distinctions codified by our rabbinic heritage, and although sufficient reinterpretation will allow women an increasingly active role in public religious life, completely eradicating the differences between male and female would run contrary to how Modern Orthodoxy understands its connection to tradition. This excerpt thus demonstrates a way in which traditional allegories may be reread in such a way that they speak to our present generation. 

The passage is interesting because of its implicit approach to reading rabbinic texts as well as its explicit content. The Maggid of Kozhnitz has presented us with a brilliant reinterpretation of a dictum that seems to praise women for pure obedience. He universalizes and expands the phrase away from its literal meaning by invoking the well-known allegory of man and wife as stand-in for the relationship between God and Israel, thereby reading the original statement against the grain. The power dynamic between male and female has still not been completely leveled, since it is the husband alone who seems capable of easing the sorrows of his wife. However, the radical core of the Maggid’s teaching only becomes truly clear from the model relationship in the final lines: through her reflexive ability to overcome her own grief and then take active steps to reconnect to her beloved, “a female” (which after the metaphor cannot refer only to physical woman) is able to spark her “husband” (which must also be understood non-literally) into realizing his potential love and compassion. The reader is left with the conclusion that any relationship, both bein adam leHaveiro and bein adam laMakom, of real depth and lasting connection demands of one an extraordinarily high degree of selflessness.

It is not impossible to view even the Maggid’s reading of the text as another negatively charged expression of passive power, in which the female is forced by her lack of agency to use coercion in order to accomplish her desires. Yet had he wished to convey this, the author would simply have stayed much closer to the original midrashic statement. I would argue that the thrust of the Maggid’s message, as well his innovative exegetical maneuver, represent a manner of forging a new conception of gender in which old categories are retained, but the nature of the dynamic between the two has been creatively updated and entirely reframed.

The Wisdom of Hakhamei Sepharad

            Revisiting the kabbalistic tradition as a source for contemporary spiritual renewal will also help to broaden the intellectual spectrum of Modern Orthodoxy by including and reintroducing forgotten works of Sephardic sages. Books of non-Ashkenazi provenance do enjoy a higher status within Modern Orthodox circles than they do in the Hareidi world, which to a large degree has continued the tradition of Eastern European yeshivot that decries the study of any non-halakhic texts altogether (both Sephardic and Ashkenazi alike). However, it is my contention that much of the vast literature of the Sephardim, and especially those works which deal explicitly with kabbalastic themes, has been quite underrepresented in the general Modern Orthodox canon. Though the legal works of such classical Iberian Rishonim as the Ramban, Rashba, Ritva, Ran, and the great Rambam are accorded a high degree honor, the insightful and variegated treatises of a great many other important Sephardic authorities continue to lie fallow.

Within this oft-overlooked corpus I would include the works of R. Meir ibn Gabbai, Moshe Alsheikh, Haim Yosef David Azulai (the Hida), and Hakham Yosef Haim (the Ben Ish Hai), to name only a few. All of these important writers and leaders are united by their central focus on Kabbalah as a meaningful and spiritually powerful system of religious experience and discourse, and I suggest that the seeds for spiritual revitalization may yet be found within their fertile yet neglected pages. Let us turn to a selection from Ibn Gabbai’s sixteenth-century magnum opus Avodat haKodesh to illustrate this point:[x]

The highest wisdom [the sophia of God, which is the second sefirah] contains as the foundation of all emanations pouring forth out of the hidden Eden the true fountain from which the Written and the Oral Torah emanate and are impressed [upon the forms of the celestial letters and signatures]. This fountain is never interrupted; it gushes forth in constant production. Were it to be interrupted for even a moment, all creatures would sink back into their non being … that great voice sounds forth without interruption; it calls with the eternal duration that is its nature; whatever the prophets and scholars of all generations have taught, proclaimed, and produced, they have received precisely out of that voice which never ceases, in which regulations, determinations, and decisions are implicitly contained, as well as everything new that may ever be said in any future. In all generations, these men stand in the same relationship to that voice as a trumpet to the mouth of a man who blows into it and brings forth a sound. In that process, there is no production from their own sense and understanding. Instead, they bring out of potentiality that which they received from that voice when they stood at Sinai.

This text provides a more nuanced counterpoint to the broad interpretive dynamism found in the passage from Degel Mahaneh Ephraim. Like his Hasidic counterpart who was to write nearly four centuries later, Ibn Gabbai declares that interpretation of Torah is no stagnant act of dry repetition, but a flexible process that remains necessarily fluid because the Torah itself is constantly evolving. However, Ibn Gabbai carefully qualifies this seemingly unbounded interpretive license by explaining that a talmid hakham is not the originator of even the most innovative reapplications of Torah, since all interpretation has its source in an all-encompassing but unarticulated potential revealed at Sinai. The role of scholars across generations is rather to select which of these teachings must be actualized at any given moment. In other words, it is our task to reify, not to invent ex nihilo.

Despite relocating the origin of all interpretive innovation back to the Divine, Ibn Gabbai is not arguing a conservative position in which creative exegesis is forbidden.  Human scholars have a clear responsibility to reengage with the ever-expanding font of Torah and breathe new life into it by rearticulating its teachings in a perpetually relevant manner. His qualification that all later interpretation has its source in God’s revelation therefore does not preclude our efforts at innovation, but rather reinforces our gift (and perhaps even mandate) of creative license: the boundaries of authoritative interpretation have been greatly expanded to include even novel ideas not explicitly included amongst the traditions specifically enumerated at Sinai.

The Gift of Religious Language

Fostering spirituality is another prominent concern of Modern Orthodoxy. While this particular mode of religious thought is not necessary (or even compelling) for all, I believe that imbuing the next generation with a strong sense of traditional spirituality is now essential for ensuring the continuity of Modern Orthodoxy. Gentile philosophy is no longer the greatest menace to religious commitment, as it was in the first half of the twentieth-century. The newest existential threat facing Modern Orthodoxy is that ours is a generation of individualistic seekers driven to find personal spiritual expression in their religious lives. Without the flexibility to do this within the pale of Orthodox Judaism, these individuals will necessarily explore options outside the framework of our tradition.

Kabbalistic writings can give us an authentic Jewish spiritual vocabulary for articulating an entire type of religious awareness with God that simply cannot be adequately expressed in halakhic terminology. These mystical texts often delve into the personal spiritual experience of individuals who sought to articulate an extra-legal experience of the Divine, grappling with the almost impossible task of siphoning their encounter into the written word, and drawing upon these works will certainly enrich our own ability to discuss this rather sublime kind of piety. Examining the following excerpt from the Zohar, and a medieval commentary that builds upon the ideas within it, will be helpful in illustrating this point:

Rabbi Yehuda opened: “Her husband is known throughout the gates, as he sits among the elders of the Land.”[xi] Come and see! The Holy Blessed One withdrew in His glory, for He is hidden away and sealed far above. No one who has since entered the world, nor anyone who has been here since the day of its creation, is able to grasp His wisdom; no one is able to comprehend Him.

Since He is hidden and sealed away, and He withdrew higher and higher, none of those above or below are able to cleave to him, until they say: “Blessed is the Glory of the Lord from His place.”[xii] The ones below say that he is above, as it is written: “His glory is upon the heavens.”[xiii] The ones above say that he is below, as it is written: “Your glory is upon the entire earth.”[xiv] Until all those who are above and below say: “Blessed is the Glory of the Lord from His place.” He is unknown, and there are none able to grasp Him, and yet you say, “Her Husband is known throughout the gates”?!

Certainly “Her Husband is known throughout the gates (she’arim)!” This refers to the Holy Blessed One, for He is known and may be cleaved to according to the extent that one imagines (mesha’er) Him within the heart, each according to his ability to cleave to the spirit of wisdom. He is known in the heart to the extent that He is imagined there. In this way “He is known throughout the gates” - in these contemplative reflections. Yet for Him to be known as is fitting [is impossible]—nobody is able to cleave to Him or to know Him.[xv]

In his monumental commentary to the Zohar entitled Ketem Paz, R. Shimon ibn Lavi (North Africa, sixteenth century) explores the implications, both cosmological and personal, of this remarkable passage:

Rabbi Yehuda explains that no being has ever been created that is able to understand His wisdom, nor did the Holy Blessed One ever bring such a one into this world. Certainly not one who is able to grasp His essence! He is deep beyond all depth, and who is able to find Him? [Succeeding in] the quest for Him is impossible for the created beings, both upper and lower, until all exclaim, “Blessed is the glory of the Lord from His place!” …

… Perhaps Rabbi Yehuda holds that their quest spurs onward the movement of all the heavenly arrays, cycling around and around. To seek and never apprehend seems to the creations like utter foolishness, as one who says that if the intent of their rotation was [solely] to succeed, after the first or the second time that they are unable reach it they will believe that the quest will always be in vain.

 Yet those who truly experience longing never refrain from the search even if they do not succeed. This is like the desire of the lover for her Beloved, as it says, “I will arise and circle about, in the town, in the markets and the streets. I shall seek the One whom my soul loves; I have searched and not found.”[xvi] Notice that the verse speaks in future tense, “I shall arise and circle about … I shall seek” - this means that she will not hold back from the seeking Him, for the journey is her life.Such is the longing of the supernal beings and their eternal search, for it is their sustenance and their very existence. Even if they cannot succeed in apprehending Him, through their quest itself [to gaze upon] the face of the Master they offer praise, greatness and glory to the One for whom they searching. He is [the source of] their existence, and that of all the created beings below.

In explaining this matter well, one may raise the question: if it is not within the power of any who seek God to comprehend even His place, how then could Solomon, who was the seeker and the quester par excellence, as well as the wisest of all men, write “Her husband is known throughout the gates” about the Woman of Valor, who alludes to the upper Assembly of Israel? Rather, certainly “Her Husband is known throughout the gates (she’arim)!” This refers to the Holy Blessed One, for He is known and may be cleaved to according to the extent that one imagines (mesha’er) Him within the heart. One must say that although achieving [the quest] is inherently withheld from them, He can indeed be comprehended by His creations, each according to their understanding and contemplative imagining of Him.[xvii]                

The text of the Zohar is struggling with the seeming contraction between a scriptural verse and our own religious experience. When read in the symbolic manner of the Zohar, Proverbs 31:23 implies that an imminent God (the divine Husband) may be known and understood, but in reality all of creation encounters Him only as a transcendent Being completely removed from the worlds He has formed. Even the angels are unable to find Him or grasp His magnitude. In an attempt to solve this paradox, Rabbi Yehuda explains that while God cannot be restricted to a specific location, He may be known through (and only through) our mystical contemplation and reflection.

This Zoharic passage is a relatively clear articulation of our inability to comprehend the divine. In his commentary to our text, however, R. Shimon ibn Lavi deepens R. Yehuda’s homily by explaining that it is this permanent and eternal quest to apprehend God that sustains the universe. The endless journey is only possible because of the aforementioned paradox, since if we were truly able to grasp God, the search would immediately terminate and creation would lose its source of constant renewal. Yet neither are we allowed to desist from the journey to find Him simply because it can never be successfully completed; the greatest of value lies in the perpetual quest itself. A profound message of cosmic significance about the personal religious experience of a mystic search for God has thus been built upon an ostensible paradox between a biblical verse that suggests divine immanence, and the experiential truth of His total transcendence.

Without becoming too embroiled in the discussion of the relationship between linguistics and cognition, it is even possible that the very absence of such mystical language effectively precludes many spiritual experiences ab initio. More specifically, the inability to articulate or describe a particular concept in words may mean that one simply cannot experience it. If access to authentic Jewish mysticism is denied to those individuals who do not view halakhic study and philosophical rationality as the only modes of fulfilling religious practice, our numbers will necessarily hemorrhage to any and all other movements that have chosen to include Kabbalah within their curricula.

Conclusion

The argument put forward in the preceding pages, and the conversation for which I’ve implicitly and explicitly called, are not intended to be directives mandating a programmatic restructuring of Modern Orthodoxy along mystical and kabbalistic principles. Such an ill-advised reform would surely be unsuccessful, nor would it be necessarily desirable even if it were tenable. Indeed, in order to embrace elements of the mystical tradition, Modern Orthodoxy need not renounce the flagship ideology of synthesizing the benefits of modern intellectual thought with the rich wisdom of our heritage. Nor do I intend to make it seem as if Modern Orthodoxy has systematically or intentionally purged mysticism and mystics from amidst its ranks. Yet to ignore completely the wisdom of this spiritually compelling and perpetually relevant literature will risk alienating a valuable segment of the committed religious population. We should make a place for individuals who do not wish to join a particular Hasidic group, believing instead in a broader spiritual application for mystical teachings, but who hold this ideal in tandem (and not necessarily in tension) with an unwavering fidelity to halakha. In doing so we may even attract people dissatisfied with their present communities by providing a unique fusion of openness to modern philosophy and scholarship with a commitment to traditional spirituality.

I do share the trepidation of many about indiscriminately bringing kabbalistic praxisinto Modern Orthodox ritual life. Promoting the recitation of esoteric mystical formulae will not likely accomplish any of these goals, nor would kabbalistic asceticism integrate well into contemporary society. However, I suggest that our times necessitate the bringing of the study of mystical texts into the curricula of our institutions across the board. Introducing these works will give us the vocabulary to open up and express an entire category religious experiences that had been previously sealed. Courses in pastoral care and public speaking have been adopted by many Modern Orthodox seminaries in an attempt to answer the need for a new model of religious leadership. In this vein, we must also train teachers and rabbis who can read kabbalistic and Hasidic texts with the same fluency that they tackle medieval or modern philosophy.

Though pietistic works like Nefesh haHaim and the existentialist-philosophical treatises of Rav Soloveitchik do certainly cover similar ground, our rich kabbalistic heritage has a wealth of material that only a literature composed over the span of a millennium can offer. Jewish high school students should also be offered courses in classical mystical thought, at least as an elective. Young adults of this age certainly have the maturity to begin addressing issues such the approach to prayer, gender roles, personal religious experience, and the dialectic between tradition and innovation, from a mystical perspective, provided that the texts are carefully chosen and taught.

It is true that many kabbalistic and Hassidic books are written in a terse and complicated style of Hebrew, employing symbolic language that can be quite difficult to decipher. However, this should not deter anyone for whom reading them in the original might present a problem from exploring these texts: over the past several decades an increasing number of mystical books have become available in English. These translations, which are often accompanied by a helpful commentary and explanatory notes, are an indispensible resource for any leaders wishing to teach kabbalistic texts in their synagogues or schools to an audience whose command of Hebrew may not otherwise be sufficient. However, selecting the right translation (and the right primary source) must be done carefully, since the quality of the work can vary widely. Some tend to be over-literal to the point of unintelligibility, while others are clearly literary recasting or summaries only loosely based on the original text. Yet a substantial number of the contemporary translations strike a careful balance between these poles, and are extremely valuable for the English-reading sector of our religious community. 

Many literary treasures of the Hassidic library have been translated, at least in part, although there are still many others waiting to be rendered into English. Scholars such as Louis Jacobs,[xviii] Norman Lamm[xix] and Joseph Dan[xx] have collected and translated anthologies of Hasidic thought along with their own commentary and analysis, and the great variety of the selections in these books demonstrates the thematic and conceptual breadth of Hasidic literature. In addition to a smaller collection of Hasidic sources on the subject of prayer, Arthur Green has published several volumes of English translations that are each taken entirely from the works of a single Hasidic master.[xxi] Similarly, many important teachings from the mystically infused works of Rav Kook have been rendered into an aesthetically pleasing English that authentically reflects the original writings.[xxii] It is interesting to note that the Chabad and Breslov Hassidic groups have both undertaken the task of creating bilingual editions of their own mystical works clearly intended for a broader audience; though certainly not unbiased, the translations are often very helpful.[xxiii] Finally, Daniel Matt is in the process of translating the entire Zohar, and while even in English this text remains difficult to study without a teacher, Matt’s poetic translation grants the reader access to much of the linguistic beauty and interpretive creativity that characterize the original Aramaic.[xxiv][xxv]

Mystical literature has much wisdom to offer that will neither threaten nor supersede faithfulness to halakhic study. Indeed, Kabbalah will compliment this by providing us access to an altogether different mode of religious experience and discourse. Let us make room within the variegated spectrum of Modern Orthodoxy for individuals devoted to both halakhic observance and the earnest quest to encounter God’s presence in this world. These are, after all, the core values to which we are committed.

The authors are associated with the Center for Women's Justice, in Jerusalem, www.cwj.org.il. The Center represented convert "X" in her struggles with the Israeli rabbinic courts, and won the case on her behalf. This report of the proceedings is a stark reminder of injustices within the rabbinic court system in Israel, and the need for the public to work together to change the system dramatically.

Table of Contents

Overview.. 3

Timeline. 3

About CWJ4

CWJ's position. 4

Background. 5

The Conversion. 5

The Conversion Annulment 15 Years Later. 6

The Appeal to the High Rabbinic Court7

The interrogation of Michal in the High Rabbinic Court July 2007. 7

The Shock. 9

Michal’s Petition to the High Court of Justice. 9

The Interrogation in the Tel Aviv District Court (Michal's Affidavit), June 2009- March 2010 10

Hearing on September 7, 2009 – Michal and A are Examined. 11

The Hearing on October 20, 2009 – Michal and Mr. P are Examined. 13

Interrogations on March 15, 2010 – Michal and Avi are Examined. 15

Exhaustion and humiliation as a result of the interrogation. 17

What’s Next: From Michal to You. 19

Questions for Discussion. 22

Some Rabbinic Sources. 23

References and Links. 24

Overview
This is the story of "X" (hereinafter: "Michal#_edn1" name="_ednref1" title="">"), a Jewish convert in Israel whose status as a Jew became the subject of unwarranted and seemingly unending interrogations by Israeli rabbinic courts 17 years after her conversion. The booklet tells the story of how Michal converted to Judaism, had her conversion revoked, and then had it reinstated. The story reveals the interrogations that Michal endured at the hands of the rabbinic courts. The affidavit that Michal submitted to the High Court of Justice is set forth almost in its entirety.

Timeline
January 2007. Michal and her husband filed a joint petition to the Ashdod Rabbinic Court asking to arrange for an amicable divorce. During the divorce proceeding, the rabbi in charge asked Michal a number of questions regarding her religious practices. Instead of a divorce decree, Michal received a decision revoking her conversion, and placing her Jewishness in question.

April 2007. Michal appealed this decision to the High Rabbinic Court. As part of the appeal, the High Rabbinic Court headed by Rabbi Avraham Sherman, subjected Michal to intense interrogation regarding her conversion and her life-style subsequent to the conversion.

February 2008. The High Rabbinic Court affirmed the Ashdod decision revoking Michal's conversion.

June 2008.CWJ asked High Court of Justice to vacate the decisions of the Ashdod Rabbinic Court and the High Rabbinic Court and to declare that those Courts had acted outside of their jurisdiction and had infringed on the due process of our client.

May 2009. The High Court of Justice recommended that Michal be sent back to the Tel Aviv Rabbinic Court to review the holdings of the Ashdod and High Rabbinic Courts. The Tel Aviv Rabbinic Court subjected Michal to another round of interrogations that were no less trying than the ones she endured at the hands of the Ashdod and High Rabbinic Courts.

September 2010. The Tel Aviv Rabbinic Court held that Michal's original conversion was valid and that she and her children are Jews. In response, CWJ has asked the High Court to rule on the question of whether a rabbinic court In Israel has the authority to overturn conversions. CWJ, as well as Michal, anxiously await the answer to this critical question.

About CWJ
CWJ, a public interest law organization established in 2004, is dedicated to defending and protect the rights of women in Israel to equality, dignity and justice in Jewish law. The Public Interest Litigation Project of CWJ addresses problems of Israeli women living under religious laws, including the issues of the agunah (woman denied divorce), mamzer (child born to adulterous women), and converts (usually women).

CWJ promotes solutions to the challenge of the status of Jewish women by filing strategic lawsuits in Israeli secular courts, based on the understanding that change will not come from dealing with individual cases within rabbinic courts, but only when civil courts take responsibility to advance systemic change on behalf of women. These strategic lawsuits include damage suits in family courts, cases of rabbinic violations of “natural justice” in the High Court of Justice”, and select cases in the rabbinic court.

CWJ accompanied Michal throughout the entire process and represented her both in the High Court of Justice and in the District and High Rabbinic Courts. CWJ will continue to fight for the dignity and rights of converts in Israel and aims to bring this crucial issue to the public attention.

CWJ's position
It is CWJ's position that rabbinic courts do not have the authority to reverse conversions and that they should be forbidden from ever interrogating converts regarding their religious conduct.

There are thousands of converts currently living in Israel. Since the 2008 decision of the High Rabbinic Court, all of these conversions are at risk. If the current practice of interrogating converts regarding their religious practices is not banned, Rabbinic Courts can interrogate converts with regard to their religious practices at various instances – when they want to divorce, when they want to marry, and when their children want to marry. Converts should not have to live under the threat of close examination of their deeds or the threat of having their Jewish status and identity retroactively revoked.

Allowing this practice greatly impacts on the willingness of any person to undergo the conversion process in Israel, a fact that ironically undermines the very goals of the rabbinic courts to prevent intermarriages in the State of Israel.

Background
The Conversion
Michal was born in Europe and met “A.” [hereafter “Avi”], an Israeli man twenty years ago, while she was travelling abroad in Asia. Michal fell in love with Avi, came to Israel, and decided to stay. Michal began the lengthy process of conversion, which took about two years. Michal’s family objected to her desire to convert and for this reason cut off all contact with her. After a long period of Jewish studies, Michal passed all the relevant examinations for conversion, and the Special Rabbinic Court for Conversion headed by Rabbi Hayim Druckman accepted her for conversion. After her conversion, Michal married Avi in a Jewish wedding ceremony in accordance with Jewish law.

Michal realized her dream and built a Jewish home together with Avi in Israel. Like Ruth the Moabite, Michal considered Judaism her religion, the people of Israel her people, and the Land of Israel her home. Michal had the wholehearted support of Avi’s family and her own family of origin eventually accepted her back as their daughter because they understood that she was determined to be a Jew and to live in Israel. Michal and Aviestablished a lovely family and have three children.

Comment: “Matters of conversion” do not fall within the jurisdiction accorded to the rabbinic courts by statute under the Rabbinic Courts Jurisdiction (Marriage and Divorce) Law, 5713-1953. Nor does any other statute give the rabbinic courts express jurisdiction over conversion. This is not accidental. The legislature refrained – consciously – from subjecting matters of conversion to the jurisdiction of the rabbinic courts.
In the 1990’s, after the immigration to Israel of around 300,000 immigrants from the FSU and Ethiopia, there was a great demand and national need for conversion. In 1995, in a decision of the Prime Minister’s Office, Special Rabbinic Courts for Conversion were established in order to regulate the subject of conversion. The Special Rabbinic Courts for Conversion are not part of the regular rabbinic courts and their jurisdiction does not stem from any particular legislation.

The Conversion Annulment 15 Years Later
After 15 years of marriage, Michal and Avisadly decided to divorce, a decision about which they were in complete agreement. The two went to the Regional Rabbinic Court in Ashdod with a divorce agreement signed and authorized before the civil court and asked the rabbinic court to conduct the ceremony necessary to carry out the divorce. While getting ready to conduct the divorce ceremony, the rabbinic judge, Rabbi Avraham Atiya, interrupted the proceedings and casually asked Michal two completely unrelated questions: “Do you use the electricity on Shabbat?” and “Do you go to the mikveh?” Michal had no idea that her spontaneous answers to these two irrelevant questions would form the basis of a decision to nullify her conversion and register her and her children in the blacklist of those "ineligible for marriage" to Jews in the State of Israel.

Comment: The State of Israel has a blacklist of “those ineligible to marry” Jews in Israel. This list includes, among others, those who are defined as mamzerim (bastards), women who are temporarily prohibited from marrying because of claims that the get should be vacated (bitul get), and converts whose conversions are deemed to be in doubt by the rabbinic court.

Michal had no idea what was going on. Indeed, in the hearing room, the rabbinic judge did not say one word to Michal asserting that he was contemplating the validity of her conversation. Michal went through the divorce ritual like any other Jewish woman, and was sent home without anyone informing her of the judge’s intentions motives. Only after repeated futile attempts by Michal to obtain her certificate of divorce did she realize that something was amiss.

Several months after the divorce, Michal received a nine-page judgment ruling that her conversion was invalid and that she and her children were to be put on the blacklist of people who are ineligible to marry Jews in Israel. Over the next months, Michal received three addendums to the initial judgment that together comprise a 46-page document.

Comment: In the 46 official pages of the rabbinic court judgment, there is only one sentence – 12 words – that explains the decision to annul Michal’s conversion. The rest of the document relates very generally to the conversions performed by Rabbi Druckman, Rabbi Avior, the military rabbinic courts, and Rabbi Yisrael Rosen, and expresses the overarching view of the rabbinic court judge regarding who has authority to perform conversions in Israel.

The Appeal to the High Rabbinic Court
Represented by Rivkah Lubitch, a rabbinic court pleader who heads the Center for Women’s Justice Haifa office, Michal appealed the Ashdod Rabbinic Court ruling that held that she was not Jewish. CWJ argued that the Court had exceeded its jurisdiction by asking questions that were irrelevant to the amicable divorce, and that in any event halakha did not allow for the repeal of a conversion on any grounds. Among other things, CWJ argued that the Torah warns against the mistreatment of converts no less than 36 times, and that, according to the Talmud, even a convert who returns to "idol worship" remains unequivocally a Jew.#_edn2" name="_ednref2" title="">

Instead of ruling on our legal arguments, the High Rabbinic Court judges decided to interrogate Michal and Aviregarding their Jewish lifestyle.

The interrogation of Michal in the High Rabbinic Court July 2007
Michal was asked to leave the courtroom at the beginning while Aviwas interrogated at length about a whole series of issues: how he met Michal; what they studied to prepare for their conversion; what their relationship with the adoptive family#_edn3" name="_ednref3" title=""> assigned to help Michal through the conversion process was like before and after the conversion; their observance of the commandments (mitzvoth) after the conversion; and their sexual relations during the period that they were studying for conversion. Aviwas also questioned about his religious studies during the period prior to the conversion and how he changed after the conversion. He was also asked about the Special Conversion Court: How many times had the court required him to appear before the court, what questions did they ask, and how was the ritual immersion in the mikveh conducted.

When Avi’s interview was over, he was asked to leave the courtroom and Michal was called in for her own interrogation. The court questioned her about her parents’ religion, her connection to Judaism, how she met Avi, her decision to immigrate to Israel, the extent to which Aviobeyed the mitzvoth, changes that Avimay have undergone as a result of the conversion; and their relationship with the adoptive family. Michal told the judges that during the period that they were studying for the conversion, the couple obeyed mitzvoth (they refrained from mixing meat and milk, and lived in separate rooms at Avi’s parents' home). Michal was also asked many questions about her studies under the auspices of the Special Conversion Court, about the relationship of that Court with Rabbi Druckman and about the questions that the Court asked her prior to the conversion ceremony itself. Michal was asked about the mikveh and explained how embarrassed she had been to stand in a room with three rabbis in a robe that clung tightly to her body. She was asked about her relationship with her parents and she explained that her parents had cut off contact with her until the birth of their first baby. She also explained how, subsequent to the conversion, she had sent the children to religious kindergartens, kept kosher, lit Shabbat candles, and celebrated the Jewish holidays. Michal also described her close relationship with her adoptive family.

In a 49-page judgment issued In February 2008, the High Rabbinic Court, headed by Rabbi Avraham Sherman, affirmed the 2007 decision of Rabbi Atiya of the Ashdod Rabbinic Court, and ruled that indeed there is "doubt" (safeq) regarding the Jewishness of Michal and her children and their fitness to marry, and therefore they should be registered in the list of those prohibited to marry until further examination of their Jewishness and fitness in the Regional Rabbinic Court. Fourteen additional pages of reasons written by Rabbinic Judge Hagai Izirer were published at a much later stage.

Comment: The High Rabbinic Court ruled that all of the conversions performed by Rabbi Druckman and Rabbi Avior since 1999 are invalid, and that marriage registrars have the authority to refuse to register a convert for marriage if he or she does not have a religious appearance. These rulings caused a public outcry in both secular and religious Zionist communities because they undermine the validity of the thousands of conversions in Israel and reflect the rabbinic court’s disdain for the Special Rabbinic Courts for Conversion, in general, and Rabbi Druckman, in particular.

The Shock
Michal and her family were in shock. Michal never imagined that her conversion could be annulled out of the blue. She never imagined that her children, who were raised as Jews in every respect, could be labeled non-Jews with one swift movement. They were Jews; they celebrated Shabbat and Jewish holidays, went to religious schools from pre-school, and conducted circumcision and pidyon ben (redemption of the first born son) and bar mitzvah ceremonies. Avi’s mother, a Holocaust survivor, was appalled at the thought that her grandchildren had suddenly become non-Jews. The family was stripped of its most basic identity as a Jewish family. In order to protect the children from the emotional whirlwind they were caught up in, Michal and Avidecided not to tell them about the ruling, although they clearly understood that when the time would come for them to marry, and they would be forced to learn that the State of Israel does not recognize them as Jews suitable to marry other Jews, they would need professional psychological advice. Michal drew strength from the public support that she received. Michal’s story even made headlines in her country of birth, where people were also angry. Many religious Zionist rabbis spoke out against the injustice done to Michal and her family as well as to Rabbi Druckman and his tribunal. The religious family who had “adopted” Michal during the conversion process and accompanied her throughout that process steadfastly supported her again. Moreover, the rabbis who perform conversions in the Special Rabbinic Court for Conversion argued strongly that there was no such thing as “annulment of a conversion” and that as far as they were concerned, Michal is Jewish in every way.

Comment: Despite of the outpouring of support from the religious-Zionist public, Michal understood that the rabbinic statements that “from our perspective she is a Jew in every way” does not hold much weight, and that changing the ruling was the only way to remover her name and her children’s names from the list of those "ineligible to marry" in the State of Israel.

Michal’s Petition to the High Court of Justice
In June 2008, CWJ filed a petition tothe High Court of Justice on behalf of Michal requesting to invalidate the ruling that repealed her conversion. Michal was represented by CWJ attorneys Susan Weiss and Yifat Frankenberg and Dr. Aviad HaCohen, a CWJ board member. They argued that the rabbinic courts had deviated from "natural justice" when they adjudicated matters that were not before them and that they acted beyond their authority when they made a determination in matters of conversion that were not within the purview of their jurisdiction. Many organizations joined the petition, including: Na’amat, WIZO, Ne’emanei Torah V’Avodah, Mavoi Satum, Emunah, Kolech, The Rackman Center for the Advancement of Women’s Status, Granit, Shvut Am and the Ohr Torah Stone Institutions.

In the first hearing in May 2009, the Legal Advisor to the rabbinic courts suggested that the problem could be resolved within the framework of the Regional Rabbinic Court which could repeal the annulment of Michal’s conversion. The Legal Advisor hinted that it would be possible to find a panel of judges in the rabbinic court that would determine that T’s conversion was valid. The justices sitting in the High Court of Justice also thought it preferable to go back and “take care of the matter in the rabbinic court.” The High Court set a date for a further hearing regarding the petition in one year's time, and ruled that until then, all parties should make efforts to arrive at a solution to the problem within the framework of the rabbinic court. For this reason, Michal and Avireturned to the rabbinic court for three more days of interrogation.

The Interrogation in the Tel Aviv District Court (Michal's Affidavit), June 2009- March 2010
Before the second hearing before the High Court of Justice, Michal submitted a letter to the court written in the form of an affidavit. In this affidavit, Michal summarized what had happened to her during the three hearings of the rabbinic court.

We have called Michal’s affidavit “The Interrogation”. It is included here verbatim, just as it was submitted to the High Court of Justice. All identifying details have been omitted.

During the hearing in the High Court of Justice that took place on May 18, 2009, Advocate Shimon Yaakobi, Legal Advisor to the Rabbinic Courts, suggested to the Honorable Justices of the High Court of Justice that the problem of the annulment of my conversion could be resolved in the framework of the regional rabbinic court. The Honorable Justice Dorit Beinisch recommended that my attorneys make an effort to resolve the proceeding before the rabbinic court.
On June 7, 2009, Rivkah Lubitch, a rabbinic court pleader from the Center for Women’s Justice who represents me (hereinafter: “the rabbinic court pleader”), filed a petition for me in the rabbinic court entitled: "Request for the Correction of Personal Status"#_edn4" name="_ednref4" title=""> …. All this was in accordance with the telephone instructions of the Legal Advisor to the Rabbinic Courts, Advocate Shimon Yaakobi. The motion filed by the rabbinic court pleader on May 25, 2009, is attached to this affidavit.#_edn5" name="_ednref5" title="">
Hearing on September 7, 2009 – Michal and A are Examined
On September 7, 2009, I arrived at the hearing set for 11:30 together with Avi [my ex-husband] and the rabbinic court pleader.
We waited for more than two hours in the hall of the rabbinic courts. Rabbi B. was available to receive us in his office, but we had to wait until two more rabbinic judges were available. Every time a rabbinic judge came to Rabbi B.’s office he left to go somewhere else before the third rabbinic judge arrived. The clerk apologized for the delay several times. In the end, although we had been summoned for 11:30, we waited until after the mincha [afternoon] prayer service [around 1:00].
Despite the long wait, the hearing began well. The three rabbinic judges cross-examined me at length. I was asked about my background, how I met Avi, my life prior to the conversion, my religious observance after the conversion, education of our children, kashrut, Shabbat, my immersion in the mikveh [ritual bath] for the purpose of the conversion, and more.
I told the rabbinic judges, among other things, that we observed Shabbat after my conversion; that we did not travel on Shabbat, that I lit Shabbat candles and that we went to synagogue. I told them that even now I build a sukkah on Sukkot and that our son was called up to the Torah on his bar mitzvah, which took place in the midst of the proceeding that involved the annulment of my conversion. I told them that during a lengthy period of time after the children were born I drove them to nursery school in …, which is a religious settlement, so that they would receive a religious education. I also told them that we have maintained a strong relationship with the adoptive family – the P.s - a religious family and that “the adoptive father” (hereinafter: “Mr. P.”) put up a mezuzah for me in the new business I opened.
I also told the rabbinic judges that it was hard for me to be immersed in the water in the mikveh [for my conversion] in a transparent robe in the presence of three rabbinic judges.
Afterwards, I was asked to leave the office and Aviwas brought into the office and examined. He was asked about how we met, about our living arrangements before the conversion, about the conversion process I went through, about his parents (their background and their religious level) about the changes in our life in the wake of the conversion, about our relationship with the adoptive family, and more.
The rabbinic court was happy to hear that we were still in close contact with the adoptive family that accompanied us during the period of study that had preceded the conversion, and decided to summon Mr. P. Rabbi B. said that there was no need to trouble both members of the “adoptive” couple to appear. It would be enough if the husband came.
Orally, Rabbi B. said that there was no need to trouble me to come to the hearing in which Mr. P. would appear. It was clear beyond any doubt that Avihad already finished his role in the testimony. It was agreed upon orally with Rabbi B. that the rabbinic court pleader and Mr. P. would come by themselves.
From all of these discussions and the atmosphere in the court, we had no doubt that the matter would soon be satisfactorily resolved.
The rabbinic court pleader was asked to send a proper motion with suggested dates that were convenient for her and for Mr. P. The rabbinic court asked the rabbinic court pleader to suggest dates on Tuesdays or Wednesdays, with a preference for Tuesdays.
The rabbinic court pleader submitted a motion on September 10, 2009, with a number of dates that were convenient for her and for Mr. P. up to the court recess.
In a telephone conversation that the pleader later received from the rabbinic court, it turned out that the dates that the rabbinic court pleader had suggested were not convenient for the rabbinic court. The rabbinic court pleader was asked to suggest other dates that fell [after the court recess], and on Tuesdays only.
On September 14, 2009, the rabbinic court pleader sent alternative dates.
The rabbinic court pleader was summoned, through a call to her cellular phone, to a hearing in the rabbinic court with Mr. P., set for October 20, 2009.
On October 19, 2009, a day before the hearing, the rabbinic court pleader notified me that I also had to appear at the hearing. According to her, in spite of the fact that Rabbi B. had told me orally that I did not have to come, Rabbi B. called her cellphone and said “there might be other rabbinic judges … maybe one of the rabbinic judges will want to ask her something after all …” and therefore it would be very worthwhile for me to come.
Even though I already had plans for that day (I was busy opening a new business), I canceled everything and came to the hearing on October 20, 2009 with the rabbinic court pleader and Mr. P.
The Hearing on October 20, 2009 – Michal and Mr. P are Examined
I came to the hearing on October 20, 2009 with Mr. P and the rabbinic court pleader. Like the previous time, we waited a long time for the hearing to begin.
To my surprise, when we went into Rabbi B.’s office, it turned out that the two rabbinic judges that were sitting with Rabbi B. were different from those who had sat with him at the previous session.
It was clear that not only did the new rabbinic judges not know me, they also were not familiar with the file, and had not studied the pleadings at all before the hearing (one of the rabbinic judges even told us this). I was again asked preliminary questions by the rabbinic judges about my conversion, the mikveh, my religious observance, Shabbat, Sukkot, education of the children, kashrut, etc.
Although I was angry at first that the examination was repetitious and I demonstrated some opposition, the rabbis explained to me that they have to hear everything from the beginning. Even the rabbinic court pleader complained about the repetition of the examination and suggested that the rabbinic judges refer to the previous transcript, but they noted that they needed to hear the testimony directly from me. The rabbinic court pleader calmed me down, and I answered all of the questions in an appropriate manner.
I told the rabbinic judges about my conversion curriculum and how we learned about holidays and religious observance, that I had a close relationship with my adoptive family and about my relationship with the wife of the rabbi who taught me for the conversion. I also told them that it had been difficult for me to go to the mikveh but that I had done so even after the conversion at least once – before the wedding.
To the rabbinic judges’ question “How do you define yourself today?” I answered that I don’t want to box myself into any one sector. I see myself as a Jewish woman. I again told them that to this day I light candles before Shabbat and that I [do not cook on the Shabbat] only cook before Shabbat, I don’t eat chametz on Passover and that I celebrate the holidays. Regarding kashrut, I said that we are vegetarians and therefore it’s not difficult for us to keep kosher. I again told the rabbinic judges that for a long time we drove our children to nursery schools in … at some distance from our home, so that they would receive a religious education.
I made it clear to the rabbinic judges that I left a religion and joined the Jewish people in order to be a Jew. This is my religion and I have no other religion. I did this against my parents’ wishes. I quarreled with my family in order to become a Jew. Only after my child was born did my parents accept the change that I had made and the relationship between us was renewed.
After this, Mr. P, was summoned into the rabbinic judges’ office and I was asked to leave the office. According to the rabbinic court pleader, Mr. P. was interrogated at length about his relationship with me both before and after the conversion, about my religious observance, about how he felt when my conversion was called into question, about my religious identity and about Avi’s religious identity. He said that we always observed Shabbat when we were guests in his home, and that the children received a religious education. He told them about the strong relationship between us and that he never saw me in immodest clothing.
Despite the fact that, as stated, I wasn’t happy about being examined a second time, the hearing was conducted in a positive manner and it was clear to everyone at the end that there would be no more deliberations and that we were just needed to wait for a written decision.
At the end of the hearing, the rabbinic court pleader asked the clerk to send her the transcript and decision from the hearing that had been held that day (October 10, 2009), as well as those of the previous hearing (from September 7, 2009). When the rabbinic court pleader received the transcripts in the mail, she was surprised to discover that the [names of the] two other rabbinic judges who had sat with Rabbi B. in the first hearing were expunged from the transcript as if they hadn’t been there at all. In effect, from the transcript from September 7, 2009, it appears as if Rabbi B. sat in the hearing by himself.#_edn6" name="_ednref6" title="">
At this stage we waited anxiously every day to receive the decision from the rabbinic court regarding my Jewishness and that of my children.
In the December 24, 2009 decision of the rabbinic court, which relates to the fact that my pleader stated that she had no further witnesses to bring, it was stated thus: “The woman [and her counsel] are making a fundamental mistake in terms of their understanding of the need for a hearing before this court. The Rabbinic Court cannot support a ruling that she is a proper convert just because she has a certificate of conversion recognized by the Chief Rabbinate.… Therefore, we must thoroughly investigate the matter, and since she has notified us that she has no further witnesses, it remains for us only to hear the testimony of her [former] husband … We are setting a date for …. The Petitioner must appear with Avi.
Since hearings in the matter [of my conversion] were being conducted in a manner less formal than ordinary hearings, we did not receive a standard summons in the mail for the first two hearings. We did not complain about this because we understood that my case was getting special treatment. #_edn7" name="_ednref7" title="">
Interrogationson March 15, 2010 – Michal and Aviare Examined
I came to the hearing on March 15, 2010, with Aviand with the rabbinic court pleader. As on previous occasions, we waited a long time, nervously, until we went in [to the courtroom].
This time as well, the rabbinic judges sitting with Rabbi B. had changed. One of the rabbinic judges was familiar from the first hearing (even though his name does not appear in the transcript), and the second rabbinic judge was completely new to the case.
The rabbinic court first had Avienter and I stayed outside. Aviwas examined at length, despite the fact that he had already been examined at the first hearing on September 7, 2009. Aviwas asked about his and my religious observance, the education of our children in religious institutions in the early years, our relationship with the adoptive family, etc.
After the rabbinic judges finished asking Aviquestions, he volunteered to tell them that we had held a pidyon ben for our eldest son. The rabbinic judges immediately started to examine Aviregarding details of the ceremony. They asked him on what day exactly we held the ceremony. The rabbinic judges asked Aviif the ceremony was before the brit milah, or after it. Afterwards they asked if the pidyon ben had been on the same day as the brit. Avi, who knows that a pidyon ben takes place on the thirtieth day, was upset by the rabbinic judges' questions and felt that he had failed the examination.
Afterwards, Aviwas asked to leave the office and I was asked to go in. I was examined again, for the third time in the regional rabbinic court, about my Jewishness. I was asked about observance of kashrut, about serving food and drinks on Shabbat, about how long after the conversion we continued to be religiously observant, etc.
This time the rabbinic judges focused on the question of how I ate hot food and how I drank coffee on Shabbat during the period of time after the conversion. They examined me about whether or not there was a hot plate to warm food on Shabbat, and if we had an appliance for hot water for Shabbat.
Despite the fact that it was clear that this was to have been the last hearing, at the end of the hearing the rabbinic judges remarked that it would be worthwhile to bring still another witness if we had one. When the rabbinic court pleader complained about the fact that the hearings were being dragged out and it was not clear how many witnesses we would have to bring, one of the rabbinic judges said: “It’s best if you bring as many witnesses as possible.”
Shortly after leaving the rabbinic court, the rabbinic court pleader told me that the rabbinic judges were looking for me and had asked her to phone me and to bring me back for a continuation of the examination. According to the rabbinic court pleader, the rabbinic judges wanted to clarify: “At what stage of the immersion for conversion (17 years ago) had the robe clung to Michal’s body and had she felt that it was immodest?” This, according to the rabbinic court pleader, was despite the fact that they didn’t believe that something immodest had occurred. The rabbinic court pleader explained to me that since I had told the rabbinic court that the immersion in the mikveh with a robe in the presence of the rabbinic judges had been very difficult for me and that I had felt immodest at this stage, and, as a result, I didn’t carefully observe the laws of family purity, the rabbis were now trying to clarify if this was a defect in my “acceptance of the commandments” at the time of the conversion. They therefore had to clarify precisely at which stage of the acceptance of the commandments the robe had clung to me. The rabbinic court pleader, who had not managed to reach me on the phone, explained to the rabbinic judges that I had not made any clear decision at this stage of the conversion not to go to the mikveh and not to observe the laws of family purity. As evidence of this she noted that I had indeed immersed before my wedding and that a declaration of this fact appears in one of the transcripts. When the rabbinic judges expressed doubt as to this, the rabbinic court pleader showed them that I had been explicitly asked this question in one of the previous hearings and that I said that I had immersed in the mikveh before my wedding.

Exhaustion and humiliation as a result of the interrogation
The interrogation of the rabbinic court not only exhausted Aviand me, but also demeaned me.
I hereby declare: More than 17 years ago I made a decision that the people of Israel are my people, the Land of Israel is my land, and Judaism is my religion. I studied at length for my conversion, I completely changed my life, I paid a heavy price for this in the severance of relations with my family, I underwent immersion in a mikveh for the purpose of conversion through a recognized and proper rabbinic court in Israel, and I married Aviaccording to Jewish law. We have raised our children as proud Jews and Israelis.
I never imagined that I would be at the point where I would be asked such intimate questions regarding my life while the threat of eradicating my basic identity as a Jew looms in the background.
The tremendous injury is not only to me, a righteous convert [who has converted of her free will and desire], but also to my former husband, his parents and my children. Avi’s mother is a Holocaust survivor and I can’t even describe the distress she feels from all of this. Unfortunately, even though we decided to protect our children and to keep secret the fact that my conversion and their Judaism were being held up to scrutiny and question, it became known to them and now they are also upset, and feel degraded and shamed. We will have to take care of the children with the help of professionals.

What’s Next: From Michal to You
In September 2010, the Tel Aviv Rabbinic Court held that Michal and her children are Jewish. With this declaration, the story may be over for Michal and her children, but the question still remains whether the Rabbinic Courts had any jurisdiction to hear this question in the first instance, and whether Jewish law allows for this type of interrogation at all.

CWJ has petitioned the High Court of Justice to rule on the question of jurisdiction. We call on our religious leaders to take a clear position on the question of whether the converts can be interrogated about their religious observances years after their conversion. It is CWJ's position that this practice is against halakha and should be prohibited.

All told, Michal was interrogated by Israeli Rabbinic Courts five times in the process of having her conversion revoked and then reinstated. The last three interrogations were before the regional rabbinic court that reheard the case as per the request of the High Court of Justice, a panel considered to be “moderate and accommodating,” and under the supervisory eyes of the High Court of Justice that followed Michal's story closely. It was only due to the proactive involvement of CWJ that Michal was able to become a Jew again, her children removed from the rabbinic “blacklist” and allowed to marry Jews in the State of Israel.

Michal’s story highlights the troubling reality of conversion in Israel. Conversion is not currently regulated by law, and current practices are subject to whim and personal politics of rabbinical court judges. The interrogation was allowed to take place because nobody in the State of Israel said otherwise. The dignity and rights of converts are left hanging, not protected by the law or by society.

There is no conversion law in Israel. On July 27, 1997 the Prime Ministers office set up a special committee – the Neeman Commission – to make recommendations about how conversions would take place within the borders of the State of Israel. In 2002, the committee recommended that the Chief Rabbinate take responsibility for setting up Special Conversion Courts to process conversions in the State of Israel. Rabbi Hayim Druckman was appointed to head these conversion courts. The committee expressly stated that the purpose of setting up these Special Conversion Courts was to facilitate conversions and to find a common denominator among the different streams of Judaism that would unite the citizens of Israel on the question "Who is a Jew?", inspire cooperation, and prevent divisiveness. The committee expressly stated that these batei din would not have jurisdiction in the same way that the rabbinic courts had jurisdiction to adjudicate matters in accordance with the Law of Rabbinic Judges – 1955.#_edn8" name="_ednref8" title="">

As the Special Conversion Courts have expanded and grown, the Rabbinic Courts that oversee Jewish marriages and divorces in the state have begun to question the way that the Conversion Courts operate. The more established rabbinic courts of law did not approve of the standards being set by the Special Conversion Courts and began showing an interest in taking control over them. They felt that the Conversion Courts should hold converts to a higher standard. And that is exactly what they decided to do when Michal and Avi appeared before them.

In 2006, the Chief Rabbinate used its broad discretionary powers as the Head of the Jewish Millet (religious community) to issue "Rules Regarding Petitions for Conversion" which included a section (16) that would allow for the revocation of conversions under "special circumstances." These rules were not passed by the Knesset.

CWJ promotes the following policies:

No halakhic basis to repeal conversions. Irrespective of the jurisdictional issues, CWJ is of the opinion that there is no halakhic basis for repealing conversions. (See sources below.)
No jurisdiction to repeal conversions. It is CWJ's contention that Rabbinic Courts have no jurisdiction under Israeli law to question converts about their religious behaviors as part of an uncontested divorce. The High Court's deferral to the Regional Rabbinic Courts to rehear the status of Michal's conversion ironically facilitated the very act that we claim they do not have jurisdiction to undertake, namely, the interrogation of individuals regarding acts of faith subsequent to their conversion. Thus, the High Court, in it’s referral of the case back to the Regional Rabbinic Court has in actuality allowed for the expansion of the Rabbinic Courts' jurisdiction and the creeping annexation of its control over conversions.
No, to government interference with private religious beliefs. By allowing for the interrogation of converts regarding their religious practices, the state is allowing its courts to infringe on and interfere with the private religious practices and beliefs of its citizens. What’s more, the courts are applying insular ideologies as criteria for this interrogation, ideologies which are not necessarily accepted by the majority of the Jewish people
Yes, to privatization.The state must privatize the beit din systemby removing it from the state supported governmental apparatuses. It has become increasingly clear to us at CWJ that religion and the state cannot be intertwined in ways that allow for the gross infringement on the liberties and freedoms of individuals. By interrogating converts as to their religious practices, Courts are infringing on the liberties of convert's beliefs and action, and holding them to criteria that Jews who are not converts would not be held. We postulate that Rabbinic Courts should be conducted as private non-governmental entities to be used voluntarily by those who wish to be under their supervision. State sponsored civil courts must be established which have sole jurisdiction over questions of personal status (marriage and divorce)
Wake-up call.The interrogation of the convert Michal by state-funded judges should signal a wake-up call to the citizens of Israel. Let us not allow interrogation of convert Michal to become the lot of all converts, or all Jews, or all citizens.

Questions for Discussion
Where in this procedure do you think that the judges overstepped their bounds?
What do you think Michal and her children feel towards the State of Israel today?
What would you feel about Judaism if you were in the position of a convert being interrogated?
How do you think the Jewish responsibility to be kind to the convert should be enacted in practice?
Do you think judges should have the right to ask converts about their religious observance?
Do you think religious judges should be allowed to revoke conversions?
What kind of legislation should the State of Israel promote on the issue of conversion?
What apparatus should be in place in Israel to regulate the actions and authority of the rabbinical courts?

Some Rabbinic Sources

(1) Conversion can never be revoked, even among proselytes who are heretics.

“A man who immersed and emerged is an Israelite for all things. What halakhot is this relevant for? If he reverted and betrothed a daughter of Israel, we call him ‘Israel heretic’ and his betrothal is a valid betrothal.” (Babylonian Talmud, Yevamot 47a).

"A proselyte who was not examined [as to his motives] or who was not informed of the mitzvoth and their punishments, and he was circumcised and immersed in the presence of three laymen-is a proselyte. Even if it is known that he converted for some ulterior motive, once he has been circumcised and immersed he has left the status of being a non-Jew and we suspect him until his righteousness is clarified. Even if he recanted and worshipped idols, he is [considered] a Jewish apostate; if he betroths a Jewish woman according to halakha, they are betrothed; and an article he lost must be returned to him as to any other Jew. Having immersed, he is a Jew." (Maimonides, Mishneh Torah, Holiness, Laws of Forbidden Sexual Relations, Chapter 13, Law 17).

(2) Converts should never be asked about their past.

“One does not remind a convert of his past status and actions, and one does not take a convert’s dignity lightly. (Mechilta Mishpatim 18; Baba Metzia 59, 4; Rambam Deot 6;4. Sefer Hahinuch, 431, among others).”

(3) Converts should not be taunted.:

“What is the meaning of the verse, Thou shalt neither wrong a stranger, nor oppress him; for you were strangers in the land of Egypt? It has been taught: R. Nathan said: Do not taunt your neighbor with the blemish you yourself have. And thus the proverb runs: If there is a case of hanging in a man's family record, say not to him, ’Hang this fish up for me.'” (Babylonian Talmud, Baba Metzia 59b)

References and Links
Rabbi Marc D. Angel, “Conversion to Judaism: Halakha, Hashkafa, and Historic Challenge”. Jewish Ideas. Posted January 5, 2009. http://www.jewishideas.org/min-hamuvhar/conversion-judaism-halakha-hash…

Rabbi Marc D. Angel, Choosing to Be Jewish: The Orthodox Road to Conversion, (Ktav Publishing House, Jersey City, 2005).

Conversion to Judaism Resource Center: www.convert.org, www.convertingtojudaism.com.

Charles DeLafuente, “The Call to the Torah, Now Heeded Online,” New York Times, July 1, 2004

“Geirus Policies and Standards that will Govern The Network of Regional Batei Din for Conversion under the auspices of The Rabbinical Council of America and The Beth Din of America and in accordance with the Agreement Arrived at with The Chief Rabbinate of Israel” April 30th 2007 http://www.rabbis.org/documents/Comprehensive%20and%20Final%20Geirus%20…

Simcha Kling, Embracing Judaism, (Rabbinical Assembly, 1999).

Maurice Lamm, Becoming a Jew, (Jonathan David, 1991).

Norman Lamm, “Seventy Faces: Divided we stand, but its time to try an idea that might help us stand taller”, Moment Vol. II, No. 6, June 1986 – Sivan 5746.

Neeman Committee Recommendations (2002). http://www.knesset.gov.il/docs/heb/neeman.htm Walzer, Michael. (1997). On Toleration. New Haven, CT: Yale University Press.

“News: The rabbinical court has the authority to revoke conversions”, Kikar Shabbat. http://www.kikarhashabat.co.il/23631.html 23/12/09.

Lena Romanoff with Lisa Hostein. Your People, My People: Finding Acceptance and Fulfillment as a Jew by Choice (Jewish Publication Society, 1990).

Avi Sagi and Zvi Zohar, Transforming Identity, Continuum Press, (London and New York, 2007). (Original Hebrew, Giyyur ve-Zehut Yehudit, Shalom Hartman Institute and Mosad Bialik, Jerusalem, 1997).

Saul Singer, “Interesting Times: Judaism is not a race”, Jerusalem Post, October 25, 2007.

For more information, or to find out how you can get involved, contact:

The Center for Women’s Justice

43 Emek Refaim St.

Jerusalem 93141

972-2-5664390 (tel.)

972-2-5663317 (fax)

www.cwj.org.il

[email protected]

#_ednref1" name="_edn1" title=""> Names of the parties involved have been disguised to protect their privacy. We chose the initial “X” to represent the convert because it symbolizes the obliteration of her entire identity by the rabbinic court.

#_ednref2" name="_edn2" title="">
#_ednref3" name="_edn3" title=""> Every potential convert is assigned a family with whom they visit on Shabbat and holidays and that helps with the conversion process and teaches them Judaism in practice.

#_ednref4" name="_edn4" title=""> Note that there is no respondent to this motion. It is not an adversarial proceeding in the ordinary sense.

#_ednref5" name="_edn5" title=""> Items 2-7 refer to technicalities in the court proceedings

#_ednref6" name="_edn6" title=""> Items 34-40 refer to technicalities in the proceedings.

#_ednref7" name="_edn7" title=""> Items 43-48 refer to technicalities in the proceedings.

#_ednref8" name="_edn8" title=""> http://www.knesset.gov.il/docs/heb/neeman.htm